The top 100 forum quotes

[cobain]

murph_304: hi
murph_304: there
bIond_n_a_vette: hi ya stud
murph_304: hows your cat
bIond_n_a_vette: hungry for your manhood
murph_304: so how did you afford to get a vette..??
bIond_n_a_vette: i worked a lot of hours on my back, want ride me?
bIond_n_a_vette: i am more fun to ride in than my vette
murph_304: Hmmmmm, really?
bIond_n_a_vette: yes
murph_304: how old are you.?
bIond_n_a_vette: 23
murph_304: and what do you look like..??
bIond_n_a_vette: blond, with big tits
murph_304: where are you from..
bIond_n_a_vette: houston
murph_304: damn, a long way away.... but i wish i was there........
bIond_n_a_vette: want to have sex over the phone?
murph_304: it will cost a fortune............
bIond_n_a_vette: ill call you then
bIond_n_a_vette: whats your number?
murph_304: but i'm from sydney, australia
murph_304: not even in the us
bIond_n_a_vette: i dont care, i want to hear your manly voice
murph_304: i cant at the moment...... but add me to your friends list and maybe we can later..
bIond_n_a_vette: its now or never
murph_304: Whats your name anyway
bIond_n_a_vette: Ralph
murph_304: Ralph..????????/

[cobain]

Jdogg: Hey
QT-Pie: Hey
Jdogg: whats goin on
QT-Pie: Nothing. Who are you?
Jdogg: Jdogg. Wanna cyber?
QT-Pie: what does that mean?
Jdogg: what are you wearing?
QT-Pie: T-shirt. Jeans.
Jdogg: Garter belt?
QT-Pie: Ummm...no.
Jdogg: Are we gonna cyber or not?
QT-Pie: uh, okay.
Jdogg: Sweet, I start by rubbing your ass all around. You love this.
Jdogg: You're wet already. I can smell your pussy stink from here.
QT-Pie: WHAT?!
Jdogg: I execute standing position 12 from the Kama Sutra. Passion fills the room. Your head is close to the ceiling fan.
Jdogg: You leave everything to jdogg.
Jdogg: I am completely inside of you. You are my dick puppet. I put on a little play.
QT-Pie: This is weird. I should go.
Jdogg: I drop you on the ground, and lay a stripe down your back.
QT-Pie: A stripe?
Jdogg: I need a sandwich.
QT-Pie: You're a freak.
Jdogg: I was great. You loved it.

[cobain]

You know what?

Reading those bloodninja logs, I finally understand this log that's in the top 100.

#246405 +(7747)- [X]

<[BAC]Draxon|TWL> "The animals will hear!" bellowed the ear licking penguin as the awesomely endowed midget sucked her oozing charlies and plugged his purple middle leg into her festering cunt.
<[BAC]Draxon|TWL> oops
<[BAC]Draxon|TWL> wrong window
<d|syztem> what the ****

[Subby]

ah read the page that's all blood ninja.....I've not cried so much laughing....ever!

****ing hell my sides feel like I've taken a punch from Tyson

[Shaggy]

bloodninja: Wanna cyber?
DirtyKate: OK, but don't tell anybody ;-)
DirtyKate: Who are you?
bloodninja: I've got blond hair, blue eyes, I work out a lot
bloodninja: And I have a part time job delivering for Papa John's in my Geo Storm.
DirtyKate: You sound sexy.. I bet you want me in the back of your car..
bloodninja: Maybe some other time. You should call up Papa John's and make an order
DirtyKate: Haha! OK
DirtyKate: Hello! I'd like an extra-EXTRA large pizza just dripping with sauce.
bloodninja: Well, first they would say, "Hello, this is Papa John's, how may I help you", then they tell you the specials, and then you would make your order. So that's an X-Large. What toppings do you want?
DirtyKate: I want everything, baby!
bloodninja: Is this a delivery?
DirtyKate: Umm...Yes
DirtyKate: So you're bringing the pizza to my house now? Cause I'm home alone... and I think I'll take a shower...
bloodninja: Good. It will take about fifteen minutes to cook, and then I'll drive to your house.
**pause**
DirtyKate: I'm almost finished with my shower... Hurry up!
bloodninja: You can't hurry good pizza.
bloodninja: I'm on my way now though
**pause**
DirtyKate: So you're at my front door now.
bloodninja: How did you know?
bloodninja: I knock but you can't hear me cause you're in the shower. So I let myself in, and walk inside. I put the pizza down on your coffee table.
bloodninja: Are you ready to get nasty, baby? I'm as hot as a pizza oven
DirtyKate: Oooohh yeah. I step out of the shower and I'm all wet and cold. Warm me up baby
bloodninja: So you're still in the bathroom?
DirtyKate: Yeah, I'm wrapping a towel around myself.
bloodninja: I can no longer resist the pizza. I open the box and unzip my pants with my other hand. As I penetrate the gooey cheese, I moan in ecstacy. The mushrooms and Italian sausage are rough, but the sauce is deliciously soothing. I blow my load in seconds. As you leave the bathroom, I exit through the front door....
DirtyKate: What the f**k?
DirtyKate: You perverted piece of s**t
DirtyKate: F**k

[Subby]

Bigbenny02: I gently caress your tender bottem.
kwazyfwies: I moan softly
Bigbenny02: All of a suden I scream loudly, pull apart your arse cheeks, burry my face in the dingle berry encrusted hair mass, and inhale deeply through my nose
kwazyfwies: you sick ****
Bigbenny02: you smell bad baby, do you wash?
kwazyfwies: bye looser.
Bigbenny02: sorry, its my bad sense of humor, Most people i say it to find it funny?
kwazyfwies: ...i don't
Bigbenny02: I turn you over, and pull out my purple headed warrior
kwazyfwies:: its not very big
Bigbenny02: you won't be saying that when it infiltrates your poop tube and rips apart your colon!!!
Bigbenny02: I thrust my pocket rocket at you, and begin humping your leg like a powerful german shepard!
kwazyfwies: don't talk to me ever again
Bigbenny02: I move my hands down to your black triangle of love, somehow managing to wade through the jungle of pubic hair, i find a pink patch...
Bigbenny02: omg. hidden in the hair is a small penis!
kwazyfwies: i'm reporting you...
Bigbenny02: I squeel like a freshly wounded pig at the sight of it.
Bigbenny02: "so thats your dark secret!" i scream, "you sick twisted bitch!"
Bigbenny02: u run away, into the night, crying, the cold wind whipps your naked flesh, i chase after you
Bigbenny02: i drop kick you, and rip off your left leg leaving a small bloody stump. "you aint pretty no more!!!"
kwazyfwies: blocked. looza
Bigbenny02: bye sweet stuff

[Kaip]

#166956 +(4934)- [X]

[ron`] Roses are red, violets are blue, I'll **** you with a rake

[Chiccada]

<xterm> The problem with America is stupidity. I'm not saying there should be a capital punishment for stupidity, but why don't we just take the safety labels off of everything and let the problem solve itself?

FLMAO
Thats just genius!!

[MARTINOZ]

Oh my God - this is genius!

"Wellhung: Hello, Sweetheart. What do you look like?
Sweetheart: I am wearing a red silk blouse, a miniskirt and high heels. I work out every day, I'm toned and perfect. My measurements are 36-24-36. What do you look like?
Wellhung: I'm 6'3" and about 250 pounds.I wear glasses and I have on a pair of blue sweat pants I just bought from Walmart.I'm also wearing a T-shirt with a few spots of
barbecue sauce on it from dinner...it smells funny.
Sweetheart: I want you.Would you like to screw me?
Wellhung: OK
Sweetheart: We're in my bedroom.There's soft music playing on the stereo and candles on my dresser and night table.I'm looking up into your eyes, smiling. My hand works its way down to your crotch and begins to fondle your huge, swelling bulge.
Wellhung: I'm gulping, I'm beginning to sweat.
Sweetheart: I'm pulling up your shirt and kissing your chest.
Wellhung: Now I'm unbuttoning your blouse.My hands are trembling.
Sweetheart: I'm moaning softly.
Wellhung: I'm taking hold of your blouse and sliding it off slowly.
Sweetheart: I'm throwing my head back in pleasure.The cool silk slides off my warm skin.I'm rubbing your bulge faster, pulling and rubbing.
Wellhung: My hand suddenly jerks spastically and accidentally rips a hole in your blouse.I'm sorry.
Sweetheart: That's OK, it wasn't really too expensive.
Wellhung: I'll pay for it.
Sweetheart: Don't worry about it.I'm wearing a lacy black bra. My soft breasts are rising and falling, as I breath harder and harder.
Wellhung: I'm fumbling with the clasp on your bra.I think it's stuck. Do you have any scissors?
Sweetheart: I take your hand and kiss it softly.I'm reaching back undoing the clasp. The bra slides off my body. The air caresses my breasts. My nipples are erect for you.
Wellhung: How did you do that? I'm picking up the bra and inspecting the clasp.
Sweetheart: I'm arching my back. Oh baby. I just want to feel your tongue all over me.
Wellhung: I'm dropping the bra. Now I'm licking your, you know, breasts. They're neat!
Sweetheart: I'm running my fingers through your hair. Now I'm nibbling your ear.
Wellhung: I suddenly sneeze. Your breasts are covered with spit and phlegm.
Sweetheart: What?
Wellhung: I'm so sorry. Really.
Sweetheart: I'm wiping your phlegm off my breasts with the remains of my blouse.
Wellhung: I'm taking the sopping wet blouse from you. I drop it with a plop.
Sweetheart: OK. I'm pulling your sweat pants down and rubbing your hard tool.
Wellhung: I'm screaming like a woman. Your hands are cold! Yeeee!
Sweetheart: I'm pulling up my miniskirt. Take off my panties.
Wellhung: I'm pulling off your panties. My tongue is going all over, in and out nibbling on you...umm... wait a minute.
Sweetheart: What's the matter?
Wellhung: I've got a pubic hair caught in my throat. I'm choking.
Sweetheart: Are you OK?
Wellhung: I'm having a coughing fit. I'm turning all red.
Sweetheart: Can I help?
Wellhung: I'm running to the kitchen, choking wildly. I'm fumbling through the cabinets, looking for a cup. Where do you keep your cups?
Sweetheart: In the cabinet to the right of the sink.
Wellhung: I'm drinking a cup of water. There, that's better.
Sweetheart: Come back to me, lover.
Wellhung: I'm washing the cup now.
Sweetheart: I'm on the bed arching for you.
Wellhung: I'm drying the cup. Now I'm putting it back in the cabinet. And now I'm walking back to the bedroom. Wait, it's dark, I'm lost. Where's the bedroom?
Sweetheart: Last door on the left at the end of the hall.
Wellhung: I found it.
Sweetheart: I'm tuggin' off your pants. I'm moaning. I want you so badly.
Wellhung: Me too.
Sweetheart: Your pants are off. I kiss you passionately-our naked bodies pressing each other.
Wellhung: Your face is pushing my glasses into my face. It hurts.
Sweetheart: Why don't you take off your glasses?
Wellhung: OK, but I can't see very well without them. I place the glasses on the night table.
Sweetheart: I'm bending over the bed. Give it to me, baby!
Wellhung: I have to pee. I'm fumbling my way blindly across the room and toward the bathroom.
Sweetheart: Hurry back, lover.
Wellhung: I find the bathroom and it's dark. I'm feeling around for the toilet. I lift the lid.
Sweetheart: I'm waiting eagerly for your return.
Wellhung: I'm done going. I'm feeling around for the flush handle, but I can't find it. Uh-oh!
Sweetheart: What's the matter now?
Wellhung: I've realized that I've peed into your laundry hamper. Sorry again. I'm walking back to the bedroom now, blindly feeling my way.
Sweetheart: Mmm, yes. Come on.
Wellhung: OK, now I'm going to put my...you know ...thing...in your...you know...woman's thing.
Sweetheart: Yes! Do it, baby! Do it!
Wellhung: I'm touching your smooth butt. It feels so nice. I kiss your neck. Umm, I'm having a little trouble here.
Sweetheart: I'm moving my ass back and forth, moaning. I can't stand it another second! Slide in! Screw me now!
Wellhung: I'm flaccid.
Sweetheart: What?
Wellhung: I'm limp. I can't sustain an erection.
Sweetheart: I'm standing up and turning around; an incredulous look on my face.
Wellhung: I'm shrugging with a sad look on my face, my weiner all floppy. I'm going to get my glasses and see what's wrong.
Sweetheart: No, never mind. I'm getting dressed. I'm putting on my underwear. Now I'm putting on my wet nasty blouse.
Wellhung: No wait! Now I'm squinting, trying to find the night table. I'm feeling along the dresser, knocking over cans of hair spray, picture frames and your candles.
Sweetheart: I'm buttoning my blouse. Now I'm putting on my shoes.
Wellhung: I've found my glasses. I'm putting them on. My God! One of our candles fell on the curtain. The curtain is on fire! I'm pointing at it, a shocked look on my face.
Sweetheart: Go to hell. I'm logging off, you loser!
Wellhung: Now the carpet is on fire! Oh noooo!
Sweetheart: <logged off>"

[cobain]

#34031 +(242)- [X]

<malis> Also, minister seems to be the most efficient position
<rizen> minister?
<rizen> do you mean missionary?
<malis> whatever
<rizen> the minister position would be with the young boy on his knees

<0oyeaho0> Hey, i have a new boyfriend. hes so dreamy, and i'm so in love with him. Hes so nice and sweet. I just adore him. I feel like ive known him forever.
<oaklandfoo1> where's he from?
<0oyeaho0> uh, im not sure.


#43864 +(-6)- [X]

<incognegro> i masturbated yesterday.
<incognegro> and fell down the ****ing stairs.
<incognegro> bruised my arm pretty badly.
<mc> did you save your effluent in a jar


#48719 +(78)- [X]

<Saiy> Got a job yet Mr Blazey?
<BigGeorgieB> He's on irc. guess.



#50932 +(292)- [X]

*** Joins: Canadianpirate (java@=YEpe33-53-450-851.om.om.cox.net)
<@Oshi> Eyarrr, eh?


#75282 +(-41)- [X]

mzazchw: just then i felt my side
mzazchw: and i was like "why do i have a scab???"
mzazchw: then i looked at it
mzazchw: .............................
mzazchw: .... it was dried cum


#190051 +(1563)- [X]

<+Woody```> I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it. So I said "Implants?" She hit me.


#233293 +(886)- [X]

<@Dogpile> 88. Who recorded "Join Together" in 1972?
<Tback> like who knows these
<@Dogpile> Tback got the answer: the who. In: 2.43 secs. Streak: 1. Current wins 23!

[cobain]

flmao!

#62874 +(488)- [X]

<Brandon17> I used to date a blind girl. Her name was ::... ..:.: .:::. .::.. ....: .:.::


#75946 +(173)- [X]

* Topic is '<Bush> Dude! Wheres My War?'



#87684 +(919)- [X]

<bhlaab> One time in high school I was talking to a girl who was SUPER NAZI feminist, and she was going on and on about the double standards against women in society, and how men have no double standards against them.
<bhlaab> That's when I brought up the fact that lesbians are looked upon as "fine", wheras gay men are always getting the complete <censored> beat out of them for no reason. She got pissed off at this comment, and snapped at me "What, are you a fag too or something?!"
<bhlaab> Go equal rights!!

[cobain]

#643745 +(318)- [X]

<Scythe`> What's the worst thing about being a redneck ?
<Scythe`> Tasting your dad's semen when you're eating out your sister
<Galdor> iim thinking.... how would you recognise it as your dads?


#697526 +(1291)- [X]

<Syphon> I was walking up the path from the parking lot to my apartment, and there were two girls talking. One of them saw me carrying a Wendy's bag and said "That's not very healthy", and without even thinking I say "And you're not very attractive" and just kept walking <.<;


#2834 +(420)- [X]

<semi> ThePikmin: oh yeah? well i can increase my penis size up to 3 full inches!
<ThePikmin> my penis size is already 3 full inches


#26597 +(193)- [X]

<iMike> I am so horny, but matteo won't have sex with me anymore.
<matteo> That's because of you having that affair with that cow.
<iMike> Which cow? The big brown and white one? Or your mom?

[cobain]

#33686 +(436)- [X]

<General-Sauron> There was actually something good about Napster, when you got a song, it was actually a song, instead of going on p2p's, downloading an MP3, and it ends up being some dog ****ing a woman
<General-Sauron> I mean, I still won, but what if it had been something sick...




#74937 +(489)- [X]

<Kristy> "You attempt to kick a hobgoblin, but miss."
<Kristy>
<Kosta> hahahaha level 1
<Kosta> You have been killed by a stick of butter

[Maestro]

#50932 +(292)- [X]

*** Joins: Canadianpirate (java@=YEpe33-53-450-851.om.om.cox.net)
<@Oshi> Eyarrr, eh?

Genius.

[-V-]

Bloodninja!!! legend! had forgotten all that ****