[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hZCWJhWwJMQ"]Hyundai's suicide advert[/ame]
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Jürgen Klopp
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I found myself laughing at that. Not sure I'm supposed toOriginally posted by SlovenianKopite View PostComment
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Cant see any humour in it to be honest. Not because I think it is poor taste or insensitive. I just don't see any humour there.Football without Origi is nothingComment
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woman staggers into a police station battered and bleeding
" I've been graped " she sobs
" don't you mean raped ? "
" No, there was a bunch of them !! "
Keep this quiet
if you carefully grind off the edges of a 50p coin you can use it as a 10p
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Originally posted by ChesterDave View Post
"Its not about the long ball or the short ball, its about the right ball." Bob PaisleyComment
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the worst letter i ever wrote...
The worst letter I ever wrote.....
Dear Jim,
Can you fix it for me to go on "Its a knockout"?removing all the weak links makes us stronger
too many gutless players, no beef or desire. pussies everywhere... sack them all.Comment
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A female CNN journalist heard about a very old Jewish man who had been going to the Western Wall to pray, twice a day, every day, for a long, long time.
So she went to check it out. She went to the Western Wall and there he was, walking slowly up to the holy site.
She watched him pray and after about 45 minutes, when he turned to leave, using a cane and moving very slowly, she approached him for an interview.
"Pardon me, sir, I'm Rebecca Smith from CNN. What's your name?
"Morris Feinberg," he replied.
"Sir, how long have you been coming to the Western Wall and praying?"
"For about 60 years."
"60 years! That's amazing! What do you pray for?"
"I pray for peace between the Christians, Jews and the Muslims."
"I pray for all the wars and all the hatred to stop."
"I pray for all our children to grow up safely as responsible adults and to love their fellow man."
"I pray that politicians tell us the truth and put the interests of the people ahead of their own interests.."
"How do you feel after doing this for 60 years?"
"Like I'm talking to a ****ing brick wall."Those that hid Anne Frank were breaking the law.
Those that killed her, were following the law.Comment
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The Lone Ranger was ambushed and captured
by an enemy Indian War Party.
The Indian Chief proclaims,
"So, YOU are the great Lone Ranger" .
"In honor of the Harvest Festival,
YOU will be executed in three days."
"Before I kill you, I grant you three requests"
"What is your FIRST request ???'
The Lone Ranger responds,
"I'd like to speak to my horse."
The Chief nods and Silver is brought
before the Lone Ranger who whispers in
Silver's ear, and the horse gallops away.
Later that evening, Silver returns with
a beautiful blonde woman on his back.
As the Indian Chief watches,
the blonde enters the Lone Ranger's tent
and spends the night.
The next morning the Indian Chief admits
he's impressed..
"You have a very fine and loyal horse",
"But I will still kill you in two days."
"What is your SECOND request ???"
The Lone Ranger again asks to speak
to his horse.
Silver is brought to him,
and he again whispers in the horse's ear.
As before, Silver takes off and disappears over the horizon.
Later that evening, to the Chief's surprise,
Silver again returns, this time with a
voluptuous brunette, more attractive
than the blonde.
She enters the Lone Rangers tent
and spends the night.
The following morning the Indian Chief
is again impressed.
"You are indeed a man of many talents,"
"But I will still kill you tomorrow."
"What is your LAST request ???"
The Lone Ranger responds,
"I'd like to speak to my horse, .... alone."
The Chief is curious, but he agrees,
and Silver is brought to the Lone Ranger's tent.
Once they're alone, the Lone Ranger grabs Silver by both ears,
Looks him square in the eye and says,
Listen You cloth-eared ****ing glue factory !!!!
FOR... THE... LAST... TIME...
I SAID ...
"BRING POSSE"Those that hid Anne Frank were breaking the law.
Those that killed her, were following the law.Comment
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First Thatcher dies, Next Fergie retires.... Somewhere out there is a Scouser with a lamp and only 1 wish left !Worrying is like a rocking chair, it gives you something to do but does not actually get you anywhere.Comment
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"Give it to me, Give it to me !" , she yelled.
"I'm so ****ing wet, give it to me Now!" she cried.
Scream all she wants........ I'm keeping the ****ing umbrella'and boy could he play!.Comment
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The news about Tarby surprised me. I didn't even realize he was a comedian.Comment
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I've just been into the loft and found a 1979 copy of the TV times, or as it's now known - the sex offenders register.Comment
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Fella goes into the doctors
"Whats up with you then"
"Well doctor, its a bit embarrassing but every time I break wind my arse shouts out 'Honda' "
"thats strange" said the doctor, "can you show me"
the fella agrees, bends over and proceeds to push a bit and sure enough after a few seconds he breaks wind " HONDA "
" wow says the doctor, never seen this before. When did it start ? "
" it was shortly after I got this boil on my arse "
" a boil you say "
" Yes doc, why "
" I think I know what it is ...... Abscess makes the fart go honda "
Keep this quiet
if you carefully grind off the edges of a 50p coin you can use it as a 10p
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That's awful
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