Crap Jokes

[Norbs]

My wife left me yesterday, she said I think about football more than I think about her. I'm devastated, I've been with her for 12 seasons

[Subby]

What has Paris Hilton got in common with a French trawler?

They're both a shade browner than they should be and full of filthy seamen.






BBC News: France Rocognises Libyan Rebels.

President Sarkozy stated:' Look, dar is wun zar, and wun zer, and zum over zar......'






I always get woken up by these two crows that sit on my patio table, so this morning I was ready and threw my wife out of the window, she landed square on them.

Killed 2 birds with 20 stone.

[Subby]

I fitted a mirror to our bedroom ceiling but it came crashing down when the wife and I were shagging.

Whilst in hospital the nurse said, "Who was on top?"

"She was," I replied,

"I see," said the nurse, "She has several lacerations to her head, back and legs, but could you explain how she managed to dislocate her jaw?"

"Nobody criticises my DIY."

[Reaper]

No winners this week on Takeshis rubble

[Leyton388]

My Japanese Friend owns a corner shop in Japan, and I was getting worried about him. You see, he was nearly bust...

I rang him yesterday - he says he's doing fine.

Apparently, customers are just flooding in!

[wavydavy]

What have George Michael and a Wellington boot got in common?





Both are liable to get sucked off in a bog!

[Lou]

Nani has been invited on come dine with me

he can make a meal out of barely anything

[Gray]

I dont think its appropriate to make jokes after this tragedy. I know its hard to feel sorry or sympathy cos there foreigners, but we have to remember they lost everything in almost an instant. they have been left with nothing ............. Still theres always next season for Arsenal !!!

[slaine]

Newcastle United are hoping to sell plenty of shirts in Japan, as they believe they have many fans over there. Apparently on many of the news reports, people can be heard shouting 'TOON ARMY! TOON ARMY!'


Elton John and George Michael are being drafted into the rescue effort after the earthquake and tsunami, to help search for survivors...
Apparently they are experts in finding japs eyes covered in ****

[Norbs]

What have George Michael and a Wellington boot got in common?






Both are liable to get sucked off in a bog!

[Subby]

There's one good thing about all the radiation in Japan.

No more pubes in their porn videos.

[Subby]

The Japanese have thanked the British Government for sending dogs to help with the rescue missions.

They said they were delicious

[Johnny H]

The Japanese have thanked the British Government for sending dogs to help with the rescue missions.

They said they were delicious

I shouldn't, but

[Kenneth]

[Lou]

He was like a dog this morning..who...Scooby Doo
Hes definitely in the top three in the world....who...Tarzan