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    #121
    A parrot swallows a Viagra tablet.
    His owner, disgusted, puts him in the freezer to cool off.

    Later when he opens the freezer, he finds the parrot sweating.

    'How come you are sweating?' he asks.

    The parrot replies, 'Do you know how hard it is to open the legs of a frozen chicken?'
    "Through me the way into the suffering city,
    Through me the way to the eternal pain,
    Through me the way that runs among the lost.
    Justice urged on my high artificer;
    My maker was divine authority,
    The highest wisdom, and the primal love.
    Before me nothing but eternal things were made,
    And I endure eternally.
    Abandon every hope, ye who enter here."


    And like that… he's gone

    Comment

      #122
      What have Gareth gates and Harold Shipman got in common?
      Neither of them can finish a sentence.
      _____________________________________

      Weak willed, Wank or do they have a masterplan?

      Think we have the answer..Slot!!

      Comment

        #123
        Name a Bird that cant Fly?






        The one from Holby City
        _____________________________________

        Weak willed, Wank or do they have a masterplan?

        Think we have the answer..Slot!!

        Comment

          #124
          It's a very sad world we live in when Sir Paul McCartney and his wife are facing divorce and all anyone seems to want to do is make jokes about her false leg





          Personally, I think it's prosthetic
          _____________________________________

          Weak willed, Wank or do they have a masterplan?

          Think we have the answer..Slot!!

          Comment

            #125
            Originally posted by The Reaper View Post
            Gary Glitter has caused a hold up in an east Asian airport by refusing to allow his hand luggage to be checked












            Brilliant!

            Thanks for the PM, Mr Reaper.
            That rug really tied the room together.

            Comment

              #126
              What has getting your girlfriend pregnant and locking your keys in the car got in common?




              Both problems can be easily fixed with a coat hanger
              "Through me the way into the suffering city,
              Through me the way to the eternal pain,
              Through me the way that runs among the lost.
              Justice urged on my high artificer;
              My maker was divine authority,
              The highest wisdom, and the primal love.
              Before me nothing but eternal things were made,
              And I endure eternally.
              Abandon every hope, ye who enter here."


              And like that… he's gone

              Comment

                #127
                Originally posted by The Reaper View Post
                What has getting your girlfriend pregnant and locking your keys in the car got in common?




                Both problems can be easily fixed with a coat hanger
                class

                sick ****er
                "Sky and Setanta have the right to choose their games and it will be the same for everyone. So Mr Ferguson will not be complaining about fixtures and a campaign against United.

                "Or there is another option. That Mr Ferguson organises the fixtures in his office and sends it to us and everyone will know and cannot complain. That is simple."

                Comment

                  #128
                  what have wellies and George Michael got in common ?



                  they both get sucked off in bogs



                  Keep this quiet
                  if you carefully grind off the edges of a 50p coin you can use it as a 10p


                  Comment

                    #129
                    Stevie Wonder put down the cheese grater and said
                    " Thats the most violent book I've ever read !! "




                    Keep this quiet
                    if you carefully grind off the edges of a 50p coin you can use it as a 10p


                    Comment

                      #130
                      How come, when a couple get divorced, the bloke has to pay his ex-wife a share of his future earnings but the woman doesn't have to do the bloke's future housework?
                      "Through me the way into the suffering city,
                      Through me the way to the eternal pain,
                      Through me the way that runs among the lost.
                      Justice urged on my high artificer;
                      My maker was divine authority,
                      The highest wisdom, and the primal love.
                      Before me nothing but eternal things were made,
                      And I endure eternally.
                      Abandon every hope, ye who enter here."


                      And like that… he's gone

                      Comment

                        #131
                        Channel 4 are said to be looking for someone to fill Carol Vorderman's shoes.

                        Now.. I can only produce about a teaspoon at a time but I'm more than happy to give it go.
                        "Through me the way into the suffering city,
                        Through me the way to the eternal pain,
                        Through me the way that runs among the lost.
                        Justice urged on my high artificer;
                        My maker was divine authority,
                        The highest wisdom, and the primal love.
                        Before me nothing but eternal things were made,
                        And I endure eternally.
                        Abandon every hope, ye who enter here."


                        And like that… he's gone

                        Comment

                          #132
                          Bloke out for a walk and sees a fit looking blonde on the cliff edge
                          " Are you going to jump "
                          " Yes " replies the blonde
                          " Before you go, fancy giving me a blowjob ? "
                          " OK "

                          and gives him the best blowjob he's ever had

                          " I can't believe with a talent like that you want to kill yourself ? "

                          " I know, but my parents just can't accept that I like dressing like a girl "



                          Keep this quiet
                          if you carefully grind off the edges of a 50p coin you can use it as a 10p


                          Comment

                            #133
                            Olympic races are a bit like being in London night clubs...

                            you hear a gunshot and then 6 Black men all start running...

                            Comment

                              #134
                              Originally posted by tufty View Post
                              Stevie Wonder put down the cheese grater and said
                              " Thats the most violent book I've ever read !! "

                              Comment

                                #135
                                Four blokes turn up in Beijing in a truck with wooden posts and barbed wire in the back

                                Turns out it was the Irish fencing team

                                Comment

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