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    #241
    Originally posted by Shanks007 View Post
    So, we have an Austrian in the Cellar, Shannon Matthews under the bed and now a Nurse in the boot.

    If we find Maddie in an attic, I'm going to patent the Boardgame.
    "Through me the way into the suffering city,
    Through me the way to the eternal pain,
    Through me the way that runs among the lost.
    Justice urged on my high artificer;
    My maker was divine authority,
    The highest wisdom, and the primal love.
    Before me nothing but eternal things were made,
    And I endure eternally.
    Abandon every hope, ye who enter here."


    And like that… he's gone

    Comment

      #242
      Apologies for any offence caused.

      I was a bit pissed last night.

      Comment

        #243
        Offence? You'd do well to offend me mate.

        Anyway.. If you'll go halves on the patent royalties, i'll show you where said attic is
        "Through me the way into the suffering city,
        Through me the way to the eternal pain,
        Through me the way that runs among the lost.
        Justice urged on my high artificer;
        My maker was divine authority,
        The highest wisdom, and the primal love.
        Before me nothing but eternal things were made,
        And I endure eternally.
        Abandon every hope, ye who enter here."


        And like that… he's gone

        Comment

          #244
          An American walked into a bar in Ireland, looked around and said, "This must be the arse end of the world."

          The bartender looked at him and said, "Just passing through then, are we?"
          "Through me the way into the suffering city,
          Through me the way to the eternal pain,
          Through me the way that runs among the lost.
          Justice urged on my high artificer;
          My maker was divine authority,
          The highest wisdom, and the primal love.
          Before me nothing but eternal things were made,
          And I endure eternally.
          Abandon every hope, ye who enter here."


          And like that… he's gone

          Comment

            #245
            I went to the pub last night and the bartender asked me what I wanted.

            So I said, "Surprise me!"




            Clever cunt showed me a naked picture of my mum
            "Through me the way into the suffering city,
            Through me the way to the eternal pain,
            Through me the way that runs among the lost.
            Justice urged on my high artificer;
            My maker was divine authority,
            The highest wisdom, and the primal love.
            Before me nothing but eternal things were made,
            And I endure eternally.
            Abandon every hope, ye who enter here."


            And like that… he's gone

            Comment

              #246
              I was in the bookstore yesterday, and I came across a book titled,
              "Living with Parkinsons Disease and Arthritis".

              This could be interesting I thought, so I flipped it over and read what the critics had to say about it on the back cover.


              "After an initial shaky start, I just could not put this book down"

              Comment

                #247
                Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex?

                Mace will do that to you.

                Comment

                  #248
                  On one hand I hear Jeremy beadle had a small dick, but on the other hand, it seemed quite big, apparently...

                  Comment

                    #249
                    Whats the difference between a train carriage and a mis-carriage?

                    You cant eat a train carriage.
                    "These stories have as much relation to the truth as an egg to a chestnut." - Racing Santander President Francisco Pernia

                    Comment

                      #250
                      Originally posted by Shanks007 View Post
                      My Gran said to me,

                      "Young men of today just aren't as polite and charming as they were when I was young".

                      I had to explain,

                      "That's because they aren't trying to **** you now."
                      .
                      Suppose you have a physicist and a sociologist standing at the side of a field, observing a set of events unfolding on the field. The physicist does [describes] it using the terminology of mass and velocity and frequency of radiation and the rest. And the sociologist does it by describing it as a rugby match.



                      May the Lord bless this post.

                      Comment

                        #251
                        altzheimers protest march

                        "what do we want ?"

                        "we dont know"

                        "when do we want it?"

                        "want what ?"

                        Comment

                          #252
                          My grandma passed away on Christmas Eve.

                          In her will, she stipulated that she wanted to be buried with all of her favourite possessions.



                          Should have seen the cat's face when they were nailing the coffin lid down.
                          "Through me the way into the suffering city,
                          Through me the way to the eternal pain,
                          Through me the way that runs among the lost.
                          Justice urged on my high artificer;
                          My maker was divine authority,
                          The highest wisdom, and the primal love.
                          Before me nothing but eternal things were made,
                          And I endure eternally.
                          Abandon every hope, ye who enter here."


                          And like that… he's gone

                          Comment

                            #253
                            Originally posted by The Reaper View Post
                            My grandma passed away on Christmas Eve.

                            In her will, she stipulated that she wanted to be buried with all of her favourite possessions.



                            Should have seen the cat's face when they were nailing the coffin lid down.
                            FLMFAO Thats my gran to a T she ****ing loves her cats. Everytime she leaves me mums house she turns round and says

                            "I'm going home to stroke my pussy"

                            Comment

                              #254
                              Originally posted by liverpooltj View Post
                              FLMFAO Thats my gran to a T she ****ing loves her cats. Everytime she leaves me mums house she turns round and says

                              "I'm going home to stroke my pussy"

                              Comment

                                #255
                                Originally posted by liverpooltj View Post
                                FLMFAO Thats my gran to a T she ****ing loves her cats. Everytime she leaves me mums house she turns round and says

                                "I'm going home to stroke my pussy"
                                Mrs Slocombe by any chance?

                                Comment

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