Crap Jokes

[Subby]

^**** but did I laugh at that one^

[the rev leeroy brown]

Just got home from the World Blindfold Wanking Championship.

I've no idea where I came.

Mosquito net: £12
Fresh water supply: £500
A starving African child: Riceless

LMAO

Even though we both speak the same language, it's amazing how there are some subtle differences between American-English and proper English:

They say "sidewalk" we say "pavement"

They say "pants" we say "trousers"

They say "buried at sea" we say "naked and chained to a metal bed frame with a car battery connected to his bollocks whilst being beaten for answers".

superb

[Kinell]

What have Osama Bin Laden and Maddie got in common?
Both had their back door smashed in before being dumped at the bottom of the ocean.

thats rough that

[Subby]

I'm always taking the piss out of my friend who has downs, but now and again he'll give me a bit of stick.

I congratulate him, and add it to the growing pile of other sticks.

[Kenneth]

[Gray]

Due to the death at the weekend of Henry Cooper, Audley Harrison has now moved up one place in the world rankings.

[Tee]

Due to the death at the weekend of Henry Cooper, Audley Harrison has now moved up one place in the world rankings.

RIP Henry. Ledge.

[kev776]

DNA of Bin Laden has come back with a reading of 24% cocoa, 57% coconut, 18% sugar, and 6% milk. Experts say this is probably due to the bounty on his head.

[wiw]

[Boogs]

Just heard the news about seve balesteros , believe he's 6 under

[Rafa Justice]

Kate McCann has got an awesome tan. Apparently she's been lying in The S*n all week.

[ken dodds dog]

What's the best thing about shagging a transvestite ?

Reaching around the front and thinking its gone right through.

[ken dodds dog]

I got chatting to this nice girl at the gym.
She told me she had just joined to get a bit of weight off.
I asked if she'd tried skipping?
She smiled and giggled
"What , with a rope the way boxers do?"

"No , i mean a few meals you fat cunt"

[red g]

MY mates used to call me " Mr lover, lover" as i had quite a good record with the ladies.
Then one night a girl with downs syndrome asked to shag her up the arse.........

now they call me " Mr bum spastic"

[PTP]

i always thought people went to tenerife to get legless.