Crap Jokes

[Subby]

Watched come dancing last night for the first time.

Not the TV show, I woke my girlfriend up from a nap just as I came on her tits.

[Subby]

Just bought Cluedo: Gang Rape edition.

Turns out they all did it.

[Stanbull]

MERRY CHRISTMAS to all of you fellow Est members

I know I'm a bit early but I suffer from premature congratulation

[Boogs]

Apparently Kim Jong Ils funeral buffet was the dogs bollocks

[Liverpel]

[Subby]

How do you start a rave in Africa?

Glue toast to the ceiling.

[Drew Peacock]

What do most girls do when they experience their first orgasm?



Swallow....

[Subby]

Personally I just think that musicals are good for the economy.

Airlines and hairdressing salons can't physically employ all of Britain's homosexuals.

[Blind Melon]

And english man an irishman and a scotsman are stood outside the olympic village. there isnt a ticket to be found anywhere.

The Englishman says to the other two, wait here a second, I reckon I have an idea.

He walks over to a nearby building site and sees a load of scaffolding, so he picks up a piece, walks up to the guy at the athletes entrance and says, the name's Dave, pole vaulting. In he goes.
so Jock gets a bright idea, walks over to a man hold cover and tucks it under his arm. goes to the same entrance and says, Jock, Discus, and hin he goes.
Now, Paddy thinks he sees how things are progressing so he walks over to the same building site and picks up a roll of barbed wire and walks up to the door and says, The name's Paddy, Fencing....

[truefan999]

I'm upset. I keep telling jokes about chemistry but I never get a reaction

[PTP]

Oh dear I shouldn't but

[RoadEnd]

A teacher asks her class to use the word "contagious".

Roland, the Class swot, gets up and says, "Last year I got the measles
and my Mum Said it was contagious". "Well done, Roland" says the
teacher. "Can anyone else try"?

Katie, a sweet little girl with pigtails, says, "My grandma says there's
a bug going round, and it's contagious". "Well done, Katie" says the
teacher. "Anyone else"?

Little Irish Sean jumps up and says in a broad Irish voice, "Our next
door neighbour is painting his house with a two-inch brush and my Dad
says it will take the contagious."

[RoadEnd]

Blonde enters a store that sell curtains. She tells the salesman,
"I would like to buy a pair of pink curtains.
The salesman assured her that they had a large selection of pink
curtains. He showed her several patterns, but the blond seemed to be
having a hard time choosing.
Finally she selects a lovely pink floral print.
The salesman asked what size curtains she needed.
The blond replies "fifteen inches."
"Fifteen inches???" asked the salesman. "That sounds very small,
what room are they for?"
The blond tells him that they aren't for a room, they are for her
computer monitor.
The surprised salesman replies, "but, Miss, computers do not have
curtains!"

The blond says, "Hellllooooooooo........I've got Windows!"

[ronanm]

A teacher asks her class to use the word "contagious".

Roland, the Class swot, gets up and says, "Last year I got the measles
and my Mum Said it was contagious". "Well done, Roland" says the
teacher. "Can anyone else try"?

Katie, a sweet little girl with pigtails, says, "My grandma says there's
a bug going round, and it's contagious". "Well done, Katie" says the
teacher. "Anyone else"?

Little Irish Sean jumps up and says in a broad Irish voice, "Our next
door neighbour is painting his house with a two-inch brush and my Dad
says it will take the contagious."

Good old thick Paddy

[truefan999]

Bob Holness of Blockbusters has died aged 83. I'll have an RIP please Bob!