Crap Jokes

[Slinky Skills]

Just had a detective knock on my door saying he was looking for a man with one eye.

I told him if he used both eyes he'd probably find him a lot quicker.

[Buzzo]

[Slinky Skills]

I used to work in a Russian Napkin factory.

I was a member of the Serviette Union.

[Norbs]

[SB]

I used to work in a Russian Napkin factory.

I was a member of the Serviette Union.

[brightred]

I was walking through a cemetery the other day and saw a bloke crouched down behind a grave

I said 'Morning' and he replied 'No, just having a ****'

Bob Mortimer

I ****in love Bob

[Slinky Skills]

What do you call a chicken that counts its own eggs?

A mathemachicken.

[fidget]

Did you hear about the constipated mathematician?
He worked it out with a pencil and paper.

[ChesterDave]

What do you call a chicken that counts its own eggs?

A mathemachicken.

Wron thread. That's a cracking joke

[Slinky Skills]

Have you heard of a film called Constipation?

It hasn't come out yet.

[Slinky Skills]

Why do Ducks make great detectives?

Because they always quack the case.

LOL

[Irishnev]

Lady: do you drink beer?

Me: yes.

Lady: how many per day?
Me: 3.

Lady: how much do you pay per beer?

Me: $5 each including tip.

Lady: how long have you been drinking?

Me: about 20 years.

Lady: 3 beers a day equates to $450 per month or $5,400 per year. In 20 years, that's $108,000.

Me: sounds correct.

Lady: did you know that if you put that money into a savings account, that after interest, you would have had enough money to buy a plane?

Me: do you drink beer?

Lady: no.

Me: where's your ****ing plane?

[Norbs]

Did you hear about the constipated mathematician?
He worked it out with a pencil and paper.

[DerKrampus]

I recently installed a high power electric fence around my property.






My neighbour is dead against it.

[Norbs]