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    I think my wife is sticking glue on to all my antique weapons.

    She denies it, but I'm sticking to my guns.
    Klopp on LFC vs MUFC (March 9th 2016) - "This is why I love football. This is why we watched it when we were young. I can still not have enough of it."


    Always, keep your face to the sun, and shadows will fall behind you.

    Comment


      Originally posted by Slinky Skills View Post
      Have you heard of a film called Constipation?

      It hasn't come out yet. No ****, I kid you not
      Fixed it
      Me, I’m either planning a holiday or I’m on one.

      Comment


        Originally posted by DerKrampus View Post
        I recently installed a high power electric fence around my property.






        My neighbour is dead against it.
        Me, I’m either planning a holiday or I’m on one.

        Comment


          The wife told me the cat needed to be chipped. I only had a 9-iron but I still got it over the shed.
          Me, I’m either planning a holiday or I’m on one.

          Comment


            I went to a fancy dress party last night dressed as a Screwdriver

            Turned a few heads

            Comment


              Originally posted by SB View Post
              The wife told me the cat needed to be chipped. I only had a 9-iron but I still got it over the shed.
              Klopp on LFC vs MUFC (March 9th 2016) - "This is why I love football. This is why we watched it when we were young. I can still not have enough of it."


              Always, keep your face to the sun, and shadows will fall behind you.

              Comment


                Originally posted by Fan65 View Post
                I went to a fancy dress party last night dressed as a Screwdriver

                Turned a few heads
                Me, I’m either planning a holiday or I’m on one.

                Comment


                  My friend needed a bone marrow replacement. We found a match in Argentina and the operation was a success.

                  Our thanks goes out to Diego Marrow Donor.
                  Klopp on LFC vs MUFC (March 9th 2016) - "This is why I love football. This is why we watched it when we were young. I can still not have enough of it."


                  Always, keep your face to the sun, and shadows will fall behind you.

                  Comment


                    Comment


                      Originally posted by Norbs View Post
                      I was waiting for the stench to clear before commenting
                      Me, I’m either planning a holiday or I’m on one.

                      Comment


                        A pirate walked into a bar and the bartender said: 'Hey, I haven't seen you in a while.

                        What happened? You look terrible.'

                        'What do you mean?' said the pirate, 'I feel fine.'

                        Bartender: 'What about the wooden leg? You didn't have that before.'

                        Pirate: 'Well, we were in a battle and I got hit with a cannon ball, but I'm fine now.'

                        Bartender: 'Well, ok, but what about that hook?

                        What happened to your hand?'

                        Pirate: 'We were in another battle. I boarded a ship and got into a sword fight. My hand was cut off. I got fitted with a hook. I'm fine, really...'

                        Bartender: 'What about that eye patch?'

                        Pirate: 'Oh, one day we were at sea and a flock

                        of birds flew over. I looked up and one of them **** in my eye.'

                        Bartender: 'You're kidding, you lost an eye just from bird ****?'

                        Pirate: 'Ahh, It was my first day with the hook.'
                        removing all the weak links makes us stronger

                        too many gutless players, no beef or desire. pussies everywhere... sack them all.

                        Comment


                          What emergency number does Adolf Hitler dial when he needs help?

                          Nein nein nein!
                          Klopp on LFC vs MUFC (March 9th 2016) - "This is why I love football. This is why we watched it when we were young. I can still not have enough of it."


                          Always, keep your face to the sun, and shadows will fall behind you.

                          Comment


                            The 1970s called, they want their joke back

                            Comment


                              My mate Gav died of heartburn this morning.

                              I can't believe Gaviscon.
                              Klopp on LFC vs MUFC (March 9th 2016) - "This is why I love football. This is why we watched it when we were young. I can still not have enough of it."


                              Always, keep your face to the sun, and shadows will fall behind you.

                              Comment


                                Originally posted by Slinky Skills View Post
                                My mate Gav died of heartburn this morning.

                                I can't believe Gaviscon.

                                Comment

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