Adam Lallana

[baitman]

My wife went into a festival portaloo after Grace Jones last summer.

The seat was covered in steaming piss.

I bet she stands up to piss.

[frank the tank]

I met him at Mcr Airport last summer then he ended up on our flight. Had a pic with him and he smelt very nice, then stood behind him waiting for a piss and followed him into the ****ter after he'd finished his business. He left no problems behind at all.

[frank the tank]

This celebrity toileting reminds me of when I went for a leak at the airport and the only person in there was John Parrot. I was so surprised I just went 'whoa John Parrot' in a voice that came out really loud and deranged and he looked absolutely petrified and rushed out in mid zip without washing his hands.

[Shaggy]

Back in the 90s when she wasn’t a huge megastar yet I was on the same flight as Mariah Carey. I was next in line for the toilet after her and she left a horrendous smell. She looked really embarrassed as she was coming out.

My wife went into a festival portaloo after Grace Jones last summer.

The seat was covered in steaming piss.

This is fabulous stuff

[Shaggy]

I'm sure I've said this before, but in around 2006 I worked at ITV. We were based on the top floor of the old 'bonded warehouse', which is mostly disused save for a few rooms taken up by programme makers having 'read throughs'.

The team behind 'Ideal' were working on the floor below us, and the men's was downstairs on their floor. The entire floor reeked of fags, cos Johnny Vegas would just stand outside their room smoking, knowing there was hardly anyone around and he could puff away without going all the way downstairs and outside.

I went for a **** one afternoon and had to wait for the cubicle to be vacated. Out walked Vegas, and I swear on my lad's life, the mess he left behind was astonishing, completely unacceptable. Black **** sprayed all around the bowl and the most putrid, vile smell ever. It was utter carnage. I don't know how that can even happen. He is a real dirty *******.

[Fosterbloke]

Is he still alive?

[EwarWoo]

Is he still alive?

Definitely. He seems like the type that would leave a mess as well

[Shaggy]

I can't emphasise enough how bad it was.

[Mark79]

Is he still alive?

Do you think you might have found him?

[EwarWoo]

Did the pile of diarrhea have a cig but stuck in the top like Mr Hankey's birthday candle?

[Harv]

Well this thread has been a real eye opener

[Harv]

I'm sure I've said this before, but in around 2006 I worked at ITV. We were based on the top floor of the old 'bonded warehouse', which is mostly disused save for a few rooms taken up by programme makers having 'read throughs'.

The team behind 'Ideal' were working on the floor below us, and the men's was downstairs on their floor. The entire floor reeked of fags, cos Johnny Vegas would just stand outside their room smoking, knowing there was hardly anyone around and he could puff away without going all the way downstairs and outside.

I went for a **** one afternoon and had to wait for the cubicle to be vacated. Out walked Vegas, and I swear on my lad's life, the mess he left behind was astonishing, completely unacceptable. Black **** sprayed all around the bowl and the most putrid, vile smell ever. It was utter carnage. I don't know how that can even happen. He is a real dirty *******.

I once had the great displeasure of walking into the loo after my boss. Who had been at a "boys lunch" all afternoon and reeked of booze. I was greeted with the most foul odour i think ive ever come across. It was absolutely horrendous. Like sulphur mixed with spew and cheese. I cant emphasise enough how putrid it was. I cant even believe something that foul can come out of a human not dying of Ebola or something.
To top it off, i was greeted by a bowl full of **** spray! He'd flushed. But this **** must've come out of him like he'd emptied a can of soup. It was ****ing everywhere. Rim, back of the seat, over the front edge a bit, spots on the ground. Its like he started before he'd even sat down! Im positive there's no way he could have possibly not got some on his shoes/pants etc. Not a chance.

Who the **** leaves a toilet in that state though! I'd have spend 30mins and a whole roll of paper wiping every surface down like i was some deranged serial killer wiping down his crime scene

[Shaggy]

I once had the great displeasure of walking into the loo after my boss. Who had been at a "boys lunch" all afternoon and reeked of booze. I was greeted with the most foul odour i think ive ever come across. It was absolutely horrendous. Like sulphur mixed with spew and cheese. I cant emphasise enough how putrid it was. I cant even believe something that foul can come out of a human not dying of Ebola or something.
To top it off, i was greeted by a bowl full of **** spray! He'd flushed. But this **** must've come out of him like he'd emptied a can of soup. It was ****ing everywhere. Rim, back of the seat, over the front edge a bit, spots on the ground. Its like he started before he'd even sat down! Im positive there's no way he could have possibly not got some on his shoes/pants etc. Not a chance.

Who the **** leaves a toilet in that state though! I'd have spend 30mins and a whole roll of paper wiping every surface down like i was some deranged serial killer wiping down his crime scene

That is exactly like Vegas - everywhere. I'd also be scrubbing it like ****. It's crazy.

[baitman]

I love it when threads go off on a tangential theme, but its a shame they then get lost in the general football waffle.
Maybe mods could scoop them out and put them in a safe place, maybe a "wild tangents" thread

[EwarWoo]

That is exactly like Vegas - everywhere. I'd also be scrubbing it like ****. It's crazy.

I don't get that close to **** - not even my own. If they choose not to supply a toilet brush?????