The top 100 forum quotes

[Reece]

That albino was is hilarious

[WILF]

Where were you before the great Est Dublin meet up of 2006!!?

You have completely lost me with that one mate

Or am I to presume that you were " befriended " at said EST Dublin meet up by some undesirable weirdo who thought you were wanktastic ??

Who was he/she and what happened ????????

[Subby]

feck off....get back on track with more of them posts....I'm at work and can't access it through the ****ing firewall

[Shaggy]

Has this been posted yet?

http://www.quq.dk/cybersex.htm

[Dan]

Has this been posted yet?

http://www.quq.dk/cybersex.htm

bloodninja: Ok baby, we got to hurry, I don't know how long I can keep it ready for you.
j_gurli3: thats ok. ok i'm a japanese schoolgirl, what r u.
bloodninja: A Rhinocerus. Well, hung like one, thats for sure.
j_gurli3: haha, ok lets go.
j_gurli3: i put my hand through ur hair, and kiss u on the neck.
bloodninja: I stomp the ground, and snort, to alert you that you are in my breeding territory.
j_gurli3: haha, ok, u know that turns me on.
j_gurli3: i start unbuttoning ur shirt.
bloodninja: Rhinoceruses don't wear shirts.
j_gurli3: No, ur not really a Rhinocerus silly, it's just part of the game.
bloodninja: Rhinoceruses don't play games. They f*cking charge your ass.
j_gurli3: stop, cmon be serious.
bloodninja: It doesn't get any more serious than a Rhinocerus about to charge your ass.
bloodninja: I stomp my feet, the dust stirs around my tough skinned feet.
j_gurli3: thats it.
bloodninja: Nostrils flaring, I lower my head. My horn, like some phallic symbol of my potent virility, is the last thing you see as skulls collide and mine remains the victor. You are now a bloody red ragdoll suspended in the air on my mighty horn.
bloodninja: Goddam am I hard now.

[cobain]

bloodninja: Wanna cyber?
Katie_007: Sure, you into vegetables?
bloodninja: What like gardening an ****?
Katie_007: Yeah, something like that.
bloodninja: Nothing turns me on more, check this out:
bloodninja: You bend over to harvest your radishes.
(pause)
Katie_007: is that it?
bloodninja: You water your tomato patch.
bloodninja: Are you ready for my fresh produce?
Katie_007: I was thinking of like, sexual acts INVOLVING vegetables... Can you make it a little more sexy for me?
(pause)
bloodninja: I touch you on your lettuce, you massage my spinach... sexily.
bloodninja: I ride your buttocks like they were amber waves of grains.
Katie_007: Grain doesn't really turn me on... I was thinking more along the lines of carrots and zucchinis.
bloodninja: my zucchinis carresses your carrots.
bloodninja: Damn baby you're right, this **** is HOTT.
Katie_007: ...
bloodninja: My turnips listen for the soft cry of your love. My insides turn to celery as I unleash my warm and sticky cauliflower of love.
Katie_007: What the f*ck is this madlibs? I'm outta here.
bloodninja: Yeah, well I already unleashed my cauliflower, all over your olives, and up in your eyes. Now you can't see. Bitch.
Katie_007: whatever.

[Bob]

Has this been posted yet?

http://www.quq.dk/cybersex.htm

That is some ****ing funny ****!

[Red_Polo]

Hahahahaha

bloodninja

[PTP]

bloodninja is a ****ing legend - he is hilarious - ****ing lmao all day - i have read this thread about ten time - still can't read the cereal rant without having stop half way through

[cobain]

This one is cruel, but hilarious! bloodninja has got a wiiiiild imagination

evil_sarah: So you like bbws?
VictimX4: Nope...I Luv BBW"S...;o)))
evil_sarah: You're sort of cute.
VictimX4: ThanXXX...;o)))
VictimX4: Am Truly Honored...
evil_sarah: You look like you really know how to handle a woman like me.
VictimX4: 24/7...........;o)))
evil_sarah: So what would you do to me if I was there right now?
VictimX4: cover you in cane syrup and start licking you from your toes up to your ears...
evil_sarah: Mmmmm. That sounds good. Then what?
VictimX4: rub you down with baby oil and make HOT SLIPPERY LOVE to You For Hours...
evil_sarah: I only have 5 toes.
evil_sarah: Is that a problem for you?
VictimX4: is ok with me...
evil_sarah: Ok.
evil_sarah: I lost one of my legs in Desert Storm.
evil_sarah: They didn't show any of it on CNN, but it was hell over there.
evil_sarah: I was really in the ****.
VictimX4: am a vet also...
evil_sarah: yeah. From what war?
VictimX4: Nam Era...
evil_sarah: Really?
evil_sarah: You kill a lot of gooks over there?
VictimX4: some...was in Armor...a Tanker...
evil_sarah: You kill any women and children?
VictimX4: not that I Know of...
evil_sarah: I did.
evil_sarah: I hit them with the flame thrower.
evil_sarah: They tried to tell me they were civilians but I knew better.
evil_sarah: So I torched them.
evil_sarah: One of them threw a grenade and blew off one of my legs.
VictimX4: was pretty lucky...came back "Almost" like I left...
evil_sarah: What do you mean "Almost"?
VictimX4: still think about tymes...there...but ok Physically...
evil_sarah: Yeah? Did you ever make a neclace out of ears?
VictimX4: you never really forget...
evil_sarah: I did.
VictimX4: no...tried very hard to keep my Sanity...
evil_sarah: I still have a finger neclace that I wear every day.
evil_sarah: It stunk for a while but now it's just like a bunch of beef jerky.
VictimX4: did not get to bring anything back...
evil_sarah: They didn't want to let me keep it on the transport back so I had to hide it in my ass.
evil_sarah: It hurt. The fingernails kept scratching me.
evil_sarah: Let's not talk about those times.
evil_sarah: You were just about to oil up my stump.
VictimX4: ok...
evil_sarah: Keep going. Tell me what you would do next.
VictimX4: completely lost the mode...sorry...
VictimX4: mood...
evil_sarah: Come on. Pretend I'm one of those Saigon whores.
VictimX4: mind kinda wonders off to those tymes...
VictimX4: they were not really all that hot...alll skin and bones...
VictimX4: not cuddly at all...
evil_sarah: Tell me I'm a slut and pull my hair.
VictimX4: I like to do that...;o)))
evil_sarah: What's up with that link on your profile? You have herpes?
VictimX4: yes...one thing I did get to bring back...
evil_sarah: I got it too from Kuwait.
evil_sarah: No big deal. I can deal with it.
VictimX4: me also...
evil_sarah: Does yours itch?
VictimX4: am pretty lucky...only a few tymes a yr...
evil_sarah: Sometimes i can't tell if it's the herpes or the vaginosis. But it itches like crazy.
evil_sarah: It smells horrible too. Like a burning tire.
evil_sarah: So come on. You were in the middle of oiling me up.
evil_sarah: Let's get it on.
VictimX4: Sorry ...maybe some other tyme...maybe???
evil_sarah: No. Come on. You got me all excited now.
evil_sarah: Don't you want to have cyber sex with me?
VictimX4: can not concentrate right now...
evil_sarah: Why not?
evil_sarah: You're not having flashbacks to the Nam are you?
VictimX4: not really flashbacks...just bad memeories
evil_sarah: Like what?
evil_sarah: You hearing voices?
evil_sarah: You got gooks in the peremiter?
VictimX4: you always hear their voices and see their faces...but worst yet is when the faces
VictimX4: you see is their Death Face...not when they were alive...
evil_sarah: Oh yeah. Now your're getting me hot. Keep going.
evil_sarah: I'm sucking on one of the fingers from my neclace right now. Hello?
VictimX4: have to hit the showers. Got to get up for work tomorrow.
evil_sarah: No don't go!
evil_sarah: I'm almost finished.
evil_sarah: I'm fingering my self with one of the bigger ones from my neclace.
VictimX4: don't have tyme
evil_sarah: This ****ign vaginosois. Makes it look like it's covered with cottage cheese.
VictimX4: sounds nice. Bye.
evil_sarah: You pussy!
evil_sarah: A real man would at least finish a woman off.
evil_sarah: You have no backbone.
VictimX4: But I love you! You are a bbw!!
evil_sarah: That's why you couldn't bring yourself to torch those women and kids In the Nam.
evil_sarah: I once burned a kid to death with a pack of matched
evil_sarah: because my flamethrower was out of gas.
VictimX4: Bye.
evil_sarah: I smuggled one guy's brains back in a mayonnaise jar.
evil_sarah: I put it on crackers and eat it at special occasions.
VictimX4: You're sick. Goodbye.
evil_sarah: Mostly on Holidays. I don't have much left.
evil_sarah: Are you still there?
evil_sarah: ANSWER ME!

[Subby]

bloodninja is a ****ing legend - he is hilarious - ****ing lmao all day - i have read this thread about ten time - still can't read the cereal rant without having stop half way through

aye me too...

TOP TOP quality comedy gold from the Ninja. ****ing hell I'd love to go out for a night on the drink with him just to see if he's like that in real life.....saying that maybe he's surgically attached to his PC

[cobain]

bloodninja: Wanna cyber?
DirtyKate: OK, but don't tell anybody ;-)
DirtyKate: Who are you?
bloodninja: I've got blond hair, blue eyes, I work out a lot
bloodninja: And I have a part time job delivering for Papa John's in my Geo Storm.
DirtyKate: You sound sexy.. I bet you want me in the back of your car..
bloodninja: Maybe some other time. You should call up Papa John's and make an order
DirtyKate: Haha! OK
DirtyKate: Hello! I'd like an extra-EXTRA large pizza just dripping with sauce.
bloodninja: Well, first they would say, "Hello, this is Papa John's, how may I help you", then they tell you the specials, and then you would make your order. So that's an X-Large. What toppings do you want?
DirtyKate: I want everything, baby!
bloodninja: Is this a delivery?
DirtyKate: Umm...Yes
DirtyKate: So you're bringing the pizza to my house now? Cause I'm home alone... and I think I'll take a shower...
bloodninja: Good. It will take about fifteen minutes to cook, and then I'll drive to your house.
**pause**
DirtyKate: I'm almost finished with my shower... Hurry up!
bloodninja: You can't hurry good pizza.
bloodninja: I'm on my way now though
**pause**
DirtyKate: So you're at my front door now.
bloodninja: How did you know?
bloodninja: I knock but you can't hear me cause you're in the shower. So I let myself in, and walk inside. I put the pizza down on your coffee table.
bloodninja: Are you ready to get nasty, baby? I'm as hot as a pizza oven
DirtyKate: Oooohh yeah. I step out of the shower and I'm all wet and cold. Warm me up baby
bloodninja: So you're still in the bathroom?
DirtyKate: Yeah, I'm wrapping a towel around myself.
bloodninja: I can no longer resist the pizza. I open the box and unzip my pants with my other hand. As I penetrate the gooey cheese, I moan in ecstacy. The mushrooms and Italian sausage are rough, but the sauce is deliciously soothing. I blow my load in seconds. As you leave the bathroom, I exit through the front door....
DirtyKate: What the f**k?
DirtyKate: You perverted piece of s**t
DirtyKate: F**k

[Maestro]

Here's the complete works -

http://www.angelfire.com/nj4/blood/database.html

[KK07]

evil_sarah: So you like bbws?
VictimX4: Nope...I Luv BBW"S...;o)))
evil_sarah: You're sort of cute.
VictimX4: ThanXXX...;o)))
VictimX4: Am Truly Honored...
evil_sarah: You look like you really know how to handle a woman like me.
VictimX4: 24/7...........;o)))
evil_sarah: So what would you do to me if I was there right now?
VictimX4: cover you in cane syrup and start licking you from your toes up to your ears...
evil_sarah: Mmmmm. That sounds good. Then what?
VictimX4: rub you down with baby oil and make HOT SLIPPERY LOVE to You For Hours...
evil_sarah: I only have 5 toes.
evil_sarah: Is that a problem for you?
VictimX4: is ok with me...
evil_sarah: Ok.
evil_sarah: I lost one of my legs in Desert Storm.
evil_sarah: They didn't show any of it on CNN, but it was hell over there.
evil_sarah: I was really in the ****.
VictimX4: am a vet also...
evil_sarah: yeah. From what war?
VictimX4: Nam Era...
evil_sarah: Really?
evil_sarah: You kill a lot of gooks over there?
VictimX4: some...was in Armor...a Tanker...
evil_sarah: You kill any women and children?
VictimX4: not that I Know of...
evil_sarah: I did.
evil_sarah: I hit them with the flame thrower.
evil_sarah: They tried to tell me they were civilians but I knew better.
evil_sarah: So I torched them.
evil_sarah: One of them threw a grenade and blew off one of my legs.
VictimX4: was pretty lucky...came back "Almost" like I left...
evil_sarah: What do you mean "Almost"?
VictimX4: still think about tymes...there...but ok Physically...
evil_sarah: Yeah? Did you ever make a neclace out of ears?
VictimX4: you never really forget...
evil_sarah: I did.
VictimX4: no...tried very hard to keep my Sanity...
evil_sarah: I still have a finger neclace that I wear every day.
evil_sarah: It stunk for a while but now it's just like a bunch of beef jerky.
VictimX4: did not get to bring anything back...
evil_sarah: They didn't want to let me keep it on the transport back so I had to hide it in my ass.
evil_sarah: It hurt. The fingernails kept scratching me.
evil_sarah: Let's not talk about those times.
evil_sarah: You were just about to oil up my stump.
VictimX4: ok...
evil_sarah: Keep going. Tell me what you would do next.
VictimX4: completely lost the mode...sorry...
VictimX4: mood...
evil_sarah: Come on. Pretend I'm one of those Saigon whores.
VictimX4: mind kinda wonders off to those tymes...
VictimX4: they were not really all that hot...alll skin and bones...
VictimX4: not cuddly at all...
evil_sarah: Tell me I'm a slut and pull my hair.
VictimX4: I like to do that...;o)))
evil_sarah: What's up with that link on your profile? You have herpes?
VictimX4: yes...one thing I did get to bring back...
evil_sarah: I got it too from Kuwait.
evil_sarah: No big deal. I can deal with it.
VictimX4: me also...
evil_sarah: Does yours itch?
VictimX4: am pretty lucky...only a few tymes a yr...
evil_sarah: Sometimes i can't tell if it's the herpes or the vaginosis. But it itches like crazy.
evil_sarah: It smells horrible too. Like a burning tire.
evil_sarah: So come on. You were in the middle of oiling me up.
evil_sarah: Let's get it on.
VictimX4: Sorry ...maybe some other tyme...maybe???
evil_sarah: No. Come on. You got me all excited now.
evil_sarah: Don't you want to have cyber sex with me?
VictimX4: can not concentrate right now...
evil_sarah: Why not?
evil_sarah: You're not having flashbacks to the Nam are you?
VictimX4: not really flashbacks...just bad memeories
evil_sarah: Like what?
evil_sarah: You hearing voices?
evil_sarah: You got gooks in the peremiter?
VictimX4: you always hear their voices and see their faces...but worst yet is when the faces
VictimX4: you see is their Death Face...not when they were alive...
evil_sarah: Oh yeah. Now your're getting me hot. Keep going.
evil_sarah: I'm sucking on one of the fingers from my neclace right now. Hello?
VictimX4: have to hit the showers. Got to get up for work tomorrow.
evil_sarah: No don't go!
evil_sarah: I'm almost finished.
evil_sarah: I'm fingering my self with one of the bigger ones from my neclace.
VictimX4: don't have tyme
evil_sarah: This ****ign vaginosois. Makes it look like it's covered with cottage cheese.
VictimX4: sounds nice. Bye.
evil_sarah: You pussy!
evil_sarah: A real man would at least finish a woman off.
evil_sarah: You have no backbone.
VictimX4: But I love you! You are a bbw!!
evil_sarah: That's why you couldn't bring yourself to torch those women and kids In the Nam.
evil_sarah: I once burned a kid to death with a pack of matched
evil_sarah:: because my flamethrower was out of gas.
VictimX4: Bye.
evil_sarah: I smuggled one guy's brains back in a mayonnaise jar.
evil_sarah: I put it on crackers and eat it at special occasions.
VictimX4: You're sick. Goodbye.
evil_sarah: Mostly on Holidays. I don't have much left.
evil_sarah: Are you still there?
evil_sarah: ANSWER ME!

[Dan]

bloodninja: Wanna cyber?
DirtyKate: OK, but don't tell anybody ;-)
DirtyKate: Who are you?
bloodninja: I've got blond hair, blue eyes, I work out a lot
bloodninja: And I have a part time job delivering for Papa John's in my Geo Storm.
DirtyKate: You sound sexy.. I bet you want me in the back of your car..
bloodninja: Maybe some other time. You should call up Papa John's and make an order
DirtyKate: Haha! OK
DirtyKate: Hello! I'd like an extra-EXTRA large pizza just dripping with sauce.
bloodninja: Well, first they would say, "Hello, this is Papa John's, how may I help you", then they tell you the specials, and then you would make your order. So that's an X-Large. What toppings do you want?
DirtyKate: I want everything, baby!
bloodninja: Is this a delivery?
DirtyKate: Umm...Yes
DirtyKate: So you're bringing the pizza to my house now? Cause I'm home alone... and I think I'll take a shower...
bloodninja: Good. It will take about fifteen minutes to cook, and then I'll drive to your house.
**pause**
DirtyKate: I'm almost finished with my shower... Hurry up!
bloodninja: You can't hurry good pizza.
bloodninja: I'm on my way now though
**pause**
DirtyKate: So you're at my front door now.
bloodninja: How did you know?
bloodninja: I knock but you can't hear me cause you're in the shower. So I let myself in, and walk inside. I put the pizza down on your coffee table.
bloodninja: Are you ready to get nasty, baby? I'm as hot as a pizza oven
DirtyKate: Oooohh yeah. I step out of the shower and I'm all wet and cold. Warm me up baby
bloodninja: So you're still in the bathroom?
DirtyKate: Yeah, I'm wrapping a towel around myself.
bloodninja: I can no longer resist the pizza. I open the box and unzip my pants with my other hand. As I penetrate the gooey cheese, I moan in ecstacy. The mushrooms and Italian sausage are rough, but the sauce is deliciously soothing. I blow my load in seconds. As you leave the bathroom, I exit through the front door....
DirtyKate: What the f**k?
DirtyKate: You perverted piece of s**t
DirtyKate: F**k