Crap Jokes

[ken dodds dog]

Ryanair have charged Jennifer Mills Westley's family 365 in excess baggage fees to bring her remains back to the UK.
I suppose thats what you get for not booking ahead.

[Kenneth]

Oooh, er,

[paulg]

I took my girlfriend to the pub the other night. People kept shouting "paedo" and "kiddy fiddler", all because she's 21 and I'm 52.

Totally ruined our 10th anniversary.

[badpiggy]

What's the best thing about shagging a transvestite ?

Reaching around the front and thinking its gone right through.

I got chatting to this nice girl at the gym.
She told me she had just joined to get a bit of weight off.
I asked if she'd tried skipping?
She smiled and giggled
"What , with a rope the way boxers do?"

"No , i mean a few meals you fat cunt"

Ryanair have charged Jennifer Mills Westley's family 365 in excess baggage fees to bring her remains back to the UK.
I suppose thats what you get for not booking ahead.

Clearly not Kendo

[Red_Polo]

Clearly not Kendo

[Maxiedge]

I took my girlfriend to the pub the other night. People kept shouting "paedo" and "kiddy fiddler", all because she's 21 and I'm 52.

Totally ruined our 10th anniversary.

[ken dodds dog]

Police in Tenerife have confirmed the name of the british lady as
Edna Moor

[danperkins]

- What has 8 legs and scares women?

- Gang rape.

.......and a follow on to that joke keeping in context with the subject matter

- Statistically, 19 out of 20 people enjoy gang rape...

[Shaggy]

I took my girlfriend to the pub the other night. People kept shouting "paedo" and "kiddy fiddler", all because she's 21 and I'm 52.

Totally ruined our 10th anniversary.

[Dalglish]

Horse walks into a bar. Barman says

"Why the long face?"

Horse says

"I have AIDS"

[Dalglish]

I met a girl the other night who asked me to treat her like a princess

So I put her into the back of a black merc and drove it into a wall

[Dalglish]

Q: Why did Princess Diana cross the road?

A: She wasnt wearing a seatbelt

[Dalglish]

Q: What does Roy Walker say when he's shagging his sister?

A: "It's good but it's not right"

[Dalglish]

I got stopped outside Boots at lunchtime. The girl asked me what my favourite grooming products were. I said "Facebook, Haribo and puppies"

[ken dodds dog]

I met a girl the other night who asked me to treat her like a princess

So I put her into the back of a black merc and drove it into a wall

Q: Why did Princess Diana cross the road?

A: She wasnt wearing a seatbelt

You been away fella