Crap Jokes

[ashey]

I've just put a load of John Lennon memorabilia on Ebay


imagine all the paypal

I've nicked this for my Facebook page!

[Tee]

I've just put a load of John Lennon memorabilia on Ebay


imagine all the paypal

[Fivex]

Awful but I've also nicked it

[RedAndWhite]

Awful but I've also nicked it

Same.

[Gray]

Ditto.

[Kenneth]

[kev776]

Sadly, so have I.

[kev776]

The Banking Crisis simply explained...

Young Paddy bought a donkey from a farmer for £100.

The farmer agreed to deliver the donkey the next day...

The next day he drove up and said, 'Sorry son, but I have some bad
news.

The donkey's died.'

Paddy replied, 'Well then just give me my money back.'

The farmer said, 'Can't do that. I've already spent it.'

Paddy said, 'OK, then, just bring me the dead donkey.'

The farmer asked, 'What are you going to do with him?'

Paddy said, 'I'm going to raffle him off.'

The farmer said, 'You can't raffle a dead donkey!'

Paddy said, 'Sure I can. Watch me. I just won't tell anybody he's
dead.'

A month later, the farmer met up with Paddy and asked, 'What happened
with that dead donkey?'

Paddy said, 'I raffled him off.

I sold 500 tickets at two pounds apiece and made a profit of £898'

The farmer said, 'Didn't anyone complain?'

Paddy said, 'Just the guy who won.

So I gave him his two pounds back.'

Paddy now works for the Royal Bank of Scotland.

[BobTheCharmer]

There were 3 men in a pub, a scotsman, an irishman.....there were 3 men of different nationalities. They errr all had a pint and were respectful to each other and left before closing time.

[baitman]

There were 3 men in a pub, a scotsman, an irishman.....there were 3 men of different nationalities. They errr all had a pint and were respectful to each other and left before closing time.

and that, in a nutshell, i how woy hodgson should be conducting his half time team talks

[Boogs]

50 Shades For Him.....

He was in ecstasy with a huge smile on his face as his wife moved forward, then backwards, forward, then backwards again.

Back and forth... back and forth...... in and out......

She could feel the sweat on her forehead, between her breasts and trickling down the small of her back.

She was getting near to the end. Her heart was pounding and her face was flushed. Then she moaned, softly at first but then began she to groan louder.

Finally, totally exhausted, she let out an almighty scream and shouted, "Okay, okay! You park the car, you smug *******!!"

[Boogs]

I've been trying to finish Alex Ferguson auto biography but every time i get to the end Howard Webb adds another 6 pages

[Subby]

hahaha, that's great, shamelessly stolen for FB

[tufty]

my bloody secretary just posted a blank envelope

its something I'm going to have to address




I think I may have a shower

just been up to check, yes I have, its on the wall over the bath

[Red_Polo]

Tufts. Mate. It's supposed to be jokes in poor taste / bad taste. Not **** jokes