Crap Jokes

[Angryred]

[Slinky Skills]

Did you know that Cardi B has a sister who's an athletic trainer?

No, what's her name?

Cardi O

[fidget]

[SB]

Bitch please

Fixed it for you

[SB]

Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

[fidget]

[baitman]

A man walks into a bar. He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a little man, maybe a foot tall and a little piano. He puts them both on the bar, and the little guy starts playing Mozart as the man orders his drink.
The bartender says "I'm sure it's none of my business, but where did you find a little man who plays piano like that?"
The guy says "There's a genie outside granting wishes, I bet he's still there if you hurry."
The bartender runs outside, and moments later a bunch of ducks come in through the front door and start causing a big ruckus. The bartender says "You didn't tell me the genie was deaf, I asked for a million bucks, not a million ducks."
The guy says
Do you really think I asked for an eleven inch pianist?"

[SB]

A man walks into a bar. He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a little man, maybe a foot tall and a little piano. He puts them both on the bar, and the little guy starts playing Mozart as the man orders his drink.
The bartender says "I'm sure it's none of my business, but where did you find a little man who plays piano like that?"
The guy says "There's a genie outside granting wishes, I bet he's still there if you hurry."
The bartender runs outside, and moments later a bunch of ducks come in through the front door and start causing a big ruckus. The bartender says "You didn't tell me the genie was deaf, I asked for a million bucks, not a million ducks."
The guy says
Do you really think I asked for an eleven inch pianist?"

[Slinky Skills]

A man has just fainted on the luggage carousel at Manchester Airport.

He's slowly coming around.

[SB]

Apparently he flew in for their CL match last week

[Norbs]

I was walking through a cemetery the other day and saw a bloke crouched down behind a grave

I said 'Morning' and he replied 'No, just having a ****'

Bob Mortimer

[Slinky Skills]

Haha!

[fidget]

Haha!

If you haven’t watched Last One Laughing on Prime yet slinks get it done!
If you’ve not got Prime here are Mortimer’s best bits.
He’ll be back to defend his crown in season 2

“I went to see Dr Hook when I was younger.
Worst prostate examination I’ve ever had”


[ame="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nu7sk8Ne7gA"]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nu7sk8Ne7gA[/ame]

[Slinky Skills]

Yeah it's great haha! I liked the Irish one as well with the talking Donkey and Aisling Bea lol, you watched it yet?

Bob Mortimer cracks me up as well, brilliant on Gone Fishing.

[Slinky Skills]

My wife told me to take the spider out instead of killing him.

Went out. Had a few drinks.

Nice guy. He's a web designer.