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    #301
    Originally posted by The Reaper View Post
    After strangulation, which organ in the female body remains warm after death?






    My Cock


    some frankie boyle ones:

    "I saw Saddam's hanging on YouTube and it made me think. It made me think... is there nothing on the Internet that I won't masturbate to?"

    "I thought it was sad that they had that pop concert to commemorate Diana. I mean, she didn't have much to do with pop music, did she? They should've done something that celebrated what was really great about her life....... by staging a gangbang in a minefield!"

    "Viagra's overrated, isn't it? D'you know Viagra actually takes half an hour to have any effect? I often find that in that time the woman has managed to wriggle free."
    People who think there's no good way to die have obviously never heard the phrase 'Drug-fuelled-sex-heart-attack'.

    Comment

      #302
      Originally posted by The Reaper View Post
      I left my car in a car park the other day, when I came back to it the bumper and rear lights were all smashed up.

      Then I found this note under the wiper.

      "I just accidentally reversed into your car.
      Quite a few people saw me do it.
      They think I'm leaving my name and details.
      Well, I'm not."


      Bill Oddie, Bill Oddie, put your hands all over my body.

      Comment

        #303
        This had me in ****in tatters



        John Travolta is devastated at the death of his 16 year old son Jett, who died from a seizure.


        I know it's a difficult time John, but hopefully these few words can offer at least a little comfort. He may be gone, but rejoice that he is now safe with the angels up in heaven, free from fear and loneliness for evermore. Sitting beside God he awaits the moment when you will one day be reunited for all eternity.



        Only kidding, Heaven doesn't accept your kind - he's probably getting an anal probe from some seriously ****ed up aliens.
        "Through me the way into the suffering city,
        Through me the way to the eternal pain,
        Through me the way that runs among the lost.
        Justice urged on my high artificer;
        My maker was divine authority,
        The highest wisdom, and the primal love.
        Before me nothing but eternal things were made,
        And I endure eternally.
        Abandon every hope, ye who enter here."


        And like that… he's gone

        Comment

          #304
          What's the difference between a fake dollar and Amy Winehouse?

          Ones a phoney buck.....
          "Through me the way into the suffering city,
          Through me the way to the eternal pain,
          Through me the way that runs among the lost.
          Justice urged on my high artificer;
          My maker was divine authority,
          The highest wisdom, and the primal love.
          Before me nothing but eternal things were made,
          And I endure eternally.
          Abandon every hope, ye who enter here."


          And like that… he's gone

          Comment

            #305
            I had sex with this girl I met this last night at our local.

            It was inevitable it was going to happen, you could tell, just by the chemistry.



            Rohypnol and chloroform, usually does the trick.
            "Through me the way into the suffering city,
            Through me the way to the eternal pain,
            Through me the way that runs among the lost.
            Justice urged on my high artificer;
            My maker was divine authority,
            The highest wisdom, and the primal love.
            Before me nothing but eternal things were made,
            And I endure eternally.
            Abandon every hope, ye who enter here."


            And like that… he's gone

            Comment

              #306
              I told all my friends on bebo that I was 15 but got caught out by my younger sister




              If she thinks she's getting anything for her 50th birthday, she can bollocks.
              "Through me the way into the suffering city,
              Through me the way to the eternal pain,
              Through me the way that runs among the lost.
              Justice urged on my high artificer;
              My maker was divine authority,
              The highest wisdom, and the primal love.
              Before me nothing but eternal things were made,
              And I endure eternally.
              Abandon every hope, ye who enter here."


              And like that… he's gone

              Comment

                #307
                Witnesses at the scene of the Ronaldo crash say he was only lightly tapped by a car from behind, when all of the sudden the car flipped over and rolled ten times. It then span around on the spot for two minutes, then all the wheels fell off and it caught fire.
                "Through me the way into the suffering city,
                Through me the way to the eternal pain,
                Through me the way that runs among the lost.
                Justice urged on my high artificer;
                My maker was divine authority,
                The highest wisdom, and the primal love.
                Before me nothing but eternal things were made,
                And I endure eternally.
                Abandon every hope, ye who enter here."


                And like that… he's gone

                Comment

                  #308
                  My wife went to her solicitor and said she wanted to end our marriage.

                  "Anull?" asked the solicitor.

                  "Yes" said my wife...
                  "Well, that and the beatings."
                  "Through me the way into the suffering city,
                  Through me the way to the eternal pain,
                  Through me the way that runs among the lost.
                  Justice urged on my high artificer;
                  My maker was divine authority,
                  The highest wisdom, and the primal love.
                  Before me nothing but eternal things were made,
                  And I endure eternally.
                  Abandon every hope, ye who enter here."


                  And like that… he's gone

                  Comment

                    #309


                    bad to the bone
                    Cheers

                    Subby

                    www.lewcose.com Diabetes technology to make life easier

                    www.subbytech.com - Use your "est" discount code to get 15% off everything in the store too

                    MetalliGear Neo Qube : Ryzen 7950x : x870 Tomahawk : 32GIG DDR5 6000Mhz : Sapphire 7900 : 850w G2 : CableMod custom cables : Win 11 : Subbytech.com

                    Comment

                      #310
                      I'd just like to say a big thankyou to all the paedophiles, murderers and rapists out there.

                      Without you guys, this thread would merely be restricted to stereotypes, sexism and racism.
                      "Through me the way into the suffering city,
                      Through me the way to the eternal pain,
                      Through me the way that runs among the lost.
                      Justice urged on my high artificer;
                      My maker was divine authority,
                      The highest wisdom, and the primal love.
                      Before me nothing but eternal things were made,
                      And I endure eternally.
                      Abandon every hope, ye who enter here."


                      And like that… he's gone

                      Comment

                        #311
                        Originally posted by The Reaper View Post
                        I'd just like to say a big thankyou to all the paedophiles, murderers and rapists out there.

                        Without you guys, this thread would merely be restricted to stereotypes, sexism and racism.
                        Glad I could help. I'm the rapist by the way.

                        Comment

                          #312
                          What do the bible and penises have in common?

                          They're both rammed down schoolboys throats by priests.

                          Comment

                            #313
                            A man is getting dressed in his bedroom. All of a sudden his son walks in. The son looks at his father's penis and asks, "Dad, when am I going to get one of those?". The father replies, "When you're older son". The father hasn't finished dressing when his daughter walks in. She looks at her father's penis and asks, "Dad, when am I going to get one of those?". Her father looks at her and replies, "When your mother goes out".

                            Comment

                              #314
                              Originally posted by elvoz View Post
                              A man is getting dressed in his bedroom. All of a sudden his son walks in. The son looks at his father's penis and asks, "Dad, when am I going to get one of those?". The father replies, "When you're older son". The father hasn't finished dressing when his daughter walks in. She looks at her father's penis and asks, "Dad, when am I going to get one of those?". Her father looks at her and replies, "When your mother goes out".
                              I don't get it. What, the dad is going to surgically implant a penis to his daughter thus giving her a sex change. He should first consult the mother when making a decision like this. Is this a true story? Was this on Jeremy Kyle?

                              Comment

                                #315
                                Originally posted by Joe King View Post
                                I don't get it. What, the dad is going to surgically implant a penis to his daughter thus giving her a sex change. He should first consult the mother when making a decision like this. Is this a true story? Was this on Jeremy Kyle?
                                yeah

                                Comment

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