Crap Jokes

[Reaper]

I bought some Viagra off the internet the other day. I wasn't sure if it was genuine and safe so I thought I'd try it on the dog first.






Anyone ever noticed how tight a dogs arse is?

[Elvoz]

a rather attractive young lady goes to the doctors for a check up

after a thorough inspection the doc tells the lady to get her clothes back on

"well" he says

"looks like someone is going to be changing nappies pretty soon"



"oh my god " the girl shrieks out "you mean i,m pregnant ?"


"no " says the doc

"you have bowel cancer - but it was a good guess "

[Bob]

I bought some Viagra off the internet the other day. I wasn't sure if it was genuine and safe so I thought I'd try it on the dog first.






Anyone ever noticed how tight a dogs arse is?

The way you tell them Reaper, i'm not sure if these are pilfered jokes or just amusing anecdotes.

[Reaper]

Many a true word spoken in jest my friend

[the rev leeroy brown]

easily the best thread on this forum.

[Elvoz]

woman in labour, shouting the usual ****, "get this out of me, give me the drugs."
She turns to her boyfriend and says, "you did this to me you ****er."
He replies casually, "if you remember, I wanted to stick it up your arse but you said **** off it'll be too painful."

[Elvoz]

A cop stops his police car when he sees a couple sitting on the curb. The chap is laying on his side with his trousers pulled down, the girl has her finger in his asshole, and she's reaming away with a vengeance.

The cop says, "What the hell is going on here?"

The girl says, "This is my date. When I told him I wouldn't spend the night with him, he started pounding down the booze. Now, he's too drunk to drive me home, so I'm trying to sober him up by making him puke."

The cop says, "That's not gonna make him puke."

She says, "Yeah? Wait till I switch this finger to his mouth."

[Subby]

oh dear I laughed at them all...I'm going to hell

[Reaper]

Whats your thoughts on battered wives?
















I bet they taste ****in lovely with salt n vinegar

[Reaper]

I think its great that female pilots are dropping bombs on the Taliban.


It would be even better if they dropped pamphlets afterwards that said:
'This bomb was brought to you by Jenny, who is naked and enjoys drinking, smoking and premarital sex.'

[badpiggy]

I think its great that female pilots are dropping bombs on the Taliban.


It would be even better if they dropped pamphlets afterwards that said:
'This bomb was brought to you by Jenny, who is naked and enjoys drinking, smoking and premarital sex.'

listen here buddy. i come in here to laugh at jokes about the disabled, rape and paedophilia or preferably a combination of all three but that joke is basically political satire. totally unsuitable for this thread. i'm disgusted.

[Reaper]

If only I believed you Piggy

[robbielad9]

Tip for the day:
Dont shag a dwarf with Downs-Syndrome. It aint big and it aint clever.

[Subby]

Tip for the day:
Dont shag a dwarf with Downs-Syndrome. It aint big and it aint clever.

[Reaper]

I have an idea to lower teenage pregnancy rates in the UK.

Replace the current sex education in our schools with porn.

It would mean the girls would accept anal as the norm and the boys would know to pull out and come on the girls tits.