Crap Jokes

[Boogs]

@troubledmozza: Girlfriend with Ebola
I know, I know it's serious.

[Fivex]

I guarantee you somewhere right now there's a pregnant Chav teenager that thinks Ebola would be a lovely name for their baby

Guaranteed. The old dear is a midwife and in the last few years has had to explain why Chlamydia and Chevron aren't the best names for a little'un.

[Kloppster]

I guarantee you somewhere right now there's a pregnant Chav teenager that thinks Ebola would be a lovely name for their baby

[Subby]

A man runs over a woman.....who's fault is it?

The man's. He shouldn't be driving in the kitchen.

hahaha having that

[Shaggy]

deleted - wrong thread

[Bender]

A man runs over a woman.....who's fault is it?

The man's. He shouldn't be driving in the kitchen.

[Turkalicious]

What did one tampon say to the other tampon?

Nothing, they are both stuck up cunts!

[Stanbull]

The man who invented the anagram has died, may he "erect a penis"

[Kloppster]

Oscar Pistorius cleared of 1st and 2nd degree murder, f**k me I'm stumped!

[baitman]

Slinky.....your jokes are the same as your wanks......dont last very long and you're the only one that enjoys them...

Suddenly the father shouted.
I'll do the ****in dishes..!!

a classic

[kev776]

Joe wanted to buy a motorcycle.
He doesn't have much luck, until one day, he comes across a Harley with a 'for sale' sign on it.
The bike seems even better than a new one, although it is 10 years old.
It's shiny and in absolute mint condition.
He immediately buys it and asks the seller how he kept it in such great condition for 10 years.
'Well, it's quite simple really,' says the seller, 'whenever the bike
is outside and it's gonna rain, rub Vaseline on the chrome.
It protects it from the rain.' (true)
And he hands Joe a jar of Vaseline.
That night, his girlfriend, Sandra, invites him over to meet her
parents. Naturally, they take the bike there.
But just before they enter the house, Sandra stops him and says, 'I have to tell you something about my family before we go in.'
'When we eat dinner, we don't talk.
In fact, the first person who says anything during dinner has to do the dishes.'
'No problem,' he says.. And in they go.
Joe is shocked.
Right smack in the middle of the living room is a huge stack of dirty dishes.
In the kitchen is another huge stack of dishes.
Piled up on the stairs, in the corridor, everywhere he looks.
Dirty dishes.
They sit down to dinner, and sure enough, no one says a word.
As dinner progresses, Joe decides to take advantage of the situation.
So he leans over and kisses Sandra.
No one says a word.
So he reaches over and fondles her breasts.
Still, nobody says a word.
So he stands up, grabs her, rips her clothes off, throws her on the
table and screws her, right there in front of her parents.
His girlfriend is a little flustered, her dad is obviously livid and
her mom horrified when he sits back down, but no one says a word.
He looks at her mom.
'She's got a great body,' he thinks.
So he grabs the mom, bends her over the dinner table, pulls down her panties, and screws her every which way but loose right there on the dinner table.
After she has a big orgasm, he sits down again.
Now his girlfriend is furious and her dad is boiling, the Mom is
pleasantly beaming.
But still.... Total silence.
All of a sudden there is a loud clap of thunder, and it starts to rain. Joe remembers his bike, so he pulls the jar of Vaseline from his pocket.
Suddenly the father shouted.
I'll do the ****in dishes..!!

[frank the tank]

How does a Paedophile find a child in the woods?


Quite satisfying.

Slinky.....your jokes are the same as your wanks......dont last very long and you're the only one that enjoys them...

[kev776]

Very Good.

[ric.williams]

Oscar Pistorious has sacked his legal team and replaced them with Celtics lawyers. He heard they lost both legs and still won their case

[kingfunk]

[ame="http://youtu.be/PVFD6548KIc"]That feeling you get when you cum and she's still sucking - YouTube[/ame]