Crap Jokes

Said a pretty young whore of Hong Kong
To a long-pronged patron named Wong
"They say my vagina's
The nicest in China
Don't ruin it by donging it wrong."

A notorious whore named Miss Hearst
In the weakness of men is well versed.
Reads a sign o'er the head
Of her well-rumpled bed:
"The customer always comes first"

[baitman]

the first time i read that it was written in latin

[Kloppster]

I was at a disco the other night
They played 'The Twist' - I did the Twist
They played 'Jump' - I jumped
They played 'Come on Eileen'............ I was kicked out

[baitman]

[ame="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rtxbM7-jAD0"]Basil Brush - Boom Boom!! - YouTube[/ame]

[Kloppster]

ha ha, very good !

[Turkalicious]

Due to political correctness, beauty therapists now have to refer to 'anal bleaching' as changing your ringtone.

[Kloppster]

What do you call it when a prisoner takes his own mugshot?


A Cellfie :-p

[ChesterDave]

Everything about Switzerland is crap. Well, apart from the flag. That's a big plus.

[Boogs]

Whats got wings & sucks blood







Always Ultra

[kev776]

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity, it is so good I can't put it down

[Scaramanga]

Haha.

[kev776]

A man wakes up one morning to find a gorilla on his roof. So he looks in theyellow pages and sure enough, there’s an ad for "Gorilla Removers." He calls the number, and the gorilla remover says he’ll be over in 30 minutes.
The gorilla remover arrives, and gets out of his van. He’s got a ladder, a baseball bat, a shotgun and a mean old pit bull."What are you going to do", the homeowner asks?
"I’m going to put this ladder up against the roof, then I’m going to go up there and knock the gorilla off the roof with this baseball bat. When the gorilla falls off, the pit bull is trained to grab his testicles and not let go. The gorilla will then be subdued enough for me to put him in the cage in the back of the van."
So the guy puts the ladder up, gets the bat and the shotgun and walks towards the ladder. As he gets to the base of the ladder, he hands the shotgun to the homeowner.
"What’s the shotgun for..?" asks the homeowner.
"If the gorilla knocks me off the roof, shoot that ****ing dog..!"

[tufty]

ah right...whoooosh

kinell mate, good job your a computer whizz

[Subby]

ah right...whoooosh