Crap Jokes

[Norbs]

I was walking through a cemetery the other day and saw a bloke crouched down behind a grave

I said 'Morning' and he replied 'No, just having a ****'

Bob Mortimer

[SB]

Apparently he flew in for their CL match last week

[Slinky Skills]

A man has just fainted on the luggage carousel at Manchester Airport.

He's slowly coming around.

[SB]

A man walks into a bar. He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a little man, maybe a foot tall and a little piano. He puts them both on the bar, and the little guy starts playing Mozart as the man orders his drink.
The bartender says "I'm sure it's none of my business, but where did you find a little man who plays piano like that?"
The guy says "There's a genie outside granting wishes, I bet he's still there if you hurry."
The bartender runs outside, and moments later a bunch of ducks come in through the front door and start causing a big ruckus. The bartender says "You didn't tell me the genie was deaf, I asked for a million bucks, not a million ducks."
The guy says
Do you really think I asked for an eleven inch pianist?"

[baitman]

A man walks into a bar. He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a little man, maybe a foot tall and a little piano. He puts them both on the bar, and the little guy starts playing Mozart as the man orders his drink.
The bartender says "I'm sure it's none of my business, but where did you find a little man who plays piano like that?"
The guy says "There's a genie outside granting wishes, I bet he's still there if you hurry."
The bartender runs outside, and moments later a bunch of ducks come in through the front door and start causing a big ruckus. The bartender says "You didn't tell me the genie was deaf, I asked for a million bucks, not a million ducks."
The guy says
Do you really think I asked for an eleven inch pianist?"

[fidget]

[SB]

Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

[SB]

Bitch please

Fixed it for you

[fidget]

[Slinky Skills]

Did you know that Cardi B has a sister who's an athletic trainer?

No, what's her name?

Cardi O

[Angryred]

[SB]

I wasn't sure why the doctor prescribed LSD for my constipation, until I saw a dragon and **** myself.

[Norbs]

Hired an Eastern European lady to clean the house. Unfortunately she took 15 hours to do all the cleaning.

Turned out she was a Slovak.

[Slinky Skills]

Hired an Eastern European lady to clean the house. Unfortunately she took 15 hours to do all the cleaning.

Turned out she was a Slovak.

[SB]

Jaco on the radio

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