Crap Jokes

[Slinky Skills]

I went to the local video shop and said could I borrow Batman Forever?

He said, no you have to bring him back tomorrow.

[Norbs]

That's better than the groan she let out

[fidget]

I actually chuckled.

[Norbs]

This is a true story rather than a joke.

We're having an Aldi built right on our doorstep and tradesmen are using the back street to park in. We've had the demolition vans, then the groundworks, then steel fixers and finally building works. We walk our dog past the site and drive by daily, it's been great seeing how the building has been going up. Today for the first time there was a van with 'lifts and escalators' on the side.

So I nudged my partner and said...

That escalatored quickly

[SB]

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[SB]

My wife is furious at our neighbor who sunbathes naked in her backyard.

Personally, I'm on the fence.

[baitman]

White smoke has been seen coming from the Sistine Chapel.

The Pope hasn't died yet, he's just torching his hard drive.

[SB]

A man was in his front yard mowing the grass when his blonde neighbor stepped out of her house and walked straight to the mailbox.

She opened it, looked inside, slammed it shut, and stormed back inside.

A few minutes later, she came out again, marched to the mailbox, opened it, and once again slammed it shut before stomping back into the house.

As the man finished mowing and was about to start edging the lawn, she appeared a third time, looking even more frustrated. She stomped over to the mailbox, yanked it open, and slammed it shut harder than ever.

Curious, the man called out, “Is everything okay?”

She huffed and said, “No! My stupid computer keeps telling me I’ve got mail!”

[SB]

Three golf clubs went into a bar.

The Putter asked for a beer. The wedge ordered a Tequila.

And the third?

The third said "Nothing for me, I'm the driver".

[emoji1751]

Haha saw that one on Faccie yesterday

[Slinky Skills]

Three golf clubs went into a bar.

The Putter asked for a beer. The wedge ordered a Tequila.

And the third?

The third said "Nothing for me, I'm the driver".

[emoji1751]

[SB]

https://fb.watch/xWF-kirqkk/?

[SB]

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[Angryred]

Yep you can take the boy out of Manchester but you can’t take Manchester out of the boy

[SB]

20 years later & he's still doing the same elsewhere!!!

Yep you can take the boy out of Manchester but you can’t take Manchester out of the boy

[Angryred]

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

20 years later & he's still doing the same elsewhere!!!