Crap Jokes

[Buzzo]

Viz

[badpiggy]

[ame]https://twitter.com/vizcomic/status/1492435308138221568[/ame]

[Fosterbloke]

Jurgen Klopp, Ralf Rangnick, Brendan Rodgers and Mikel Arteta entered a pub. Jurgen bought them all a drink. Once they had finished, Rangnick got a round in. Then Arteta put his hand in his pocket. Then Brendan Rodgers got the beers in.

Once they'd all consumed 4 beers, Klopp went to the bar, bought a drink for himself only, and sat at the table. They all looked at him before Rangnick said "Excuse me Jurgen. What about us?"

Klopp looked at them and said, "Sorry lads. This is the fifth round and none of you are in it."

[baitman]

Jurgen Klopp, Ralf Rangnick, Brendan Rodgers and Mikel Arteta entered a pub. Jurgen bought them all a drink. Once they had finished, Rangnick got a round in. Then Arteta put his hand in his pocket. Then Brendan Rodgers got the beers in.

Once they'd all consumed 4 beers, Klopp went to the bar, bought a drink for himself only, and sat at the table. They all looked at him before Rangnick said "Excuse me Jurgen. What about us?"

Klopp looked at them and said, "Sorry lads. This is the fifth round and none of you are in it."

[baitman]

Horse is in the pub having a few, spots a donkey in the corner. So he nips over to have a natter, donkey asks "what did you do for a living?" Horse says " I ran on the flat in the summer and over the jumps in the winter". Donkey says "I worked with the kids on blackpool beach" , then he asks "did you win anything?" horse says "yeah on the flat I won the Oaks, St. Leger and the Derby and over the jumps I won the Grand National and the Gold Cup”
…
They arrange to meet at the donkey's house a week later, donkey thinks, "I need to impress this guy he's done everything". So he buys a big picture of a zebra and hangs it above the fireplace. The horse arrives and says "lovely place you have here, who's that in the picture on the wall?" Donkey replies "that's me when I played for Juventus!"

Not bad.

[Norbs]

Horse is in the pub having a few, spots a donkey in the corner. So he nips over to have a natter, donkey asks "what did you do for a living?" Horse says " I ran on the flat in the summer and over the jumps in the winter". Donkey says "I worked with the kids on blackpool beach" , then he asks "did you win anything?" horse says "yeah on the flat I won the Oaks, St. Leger and the Derby and over the jumps I won the Grand National and the Gold Cup”
…
They arrange to meet at the donkey's house a week later, donkey thinks, "I need to impress this guy he's done everything". So he buys a big picture of a zebra and hangs it above the fireplace. The horse arrives and says "lovely place you have here, who's that in the picture on the wall?" Donkey replies "that's me when I played for Juventus!"

I'm nicking that for a best man's speech

[fidget]

Horse is in the pub having a few, spots a donkey in the corner. So he nips over to have a natter, donkey asks "what did you do for a living?" Horse says " I ran on the flat in the summer and over the jumps in the winter". Donkey says "I worked with the kids on blackpool beach" , then he asks "did you win anything?" horse says "yeah on the flat I won the Oaks, St. Leger and the Derby and over the jumps I won the Grand National and the Gold Cup”
…
They arrange to meet at the donkey's house a week later, donkey thinks, "I need to impress this guy he's done everything". So he buys a big picture of a zebra and hangs it above the fireplace. The horse arrives and says "lovely place you have here, who's that in the picture on the wall?" Donkey replies "that's me when I played for Juventus!"

[baitman]

I just told my son that, he didnt find it funny at all

He's right, you're wrong

[Buzzo]

It’s funny because it goes against the convention.

Tough crowd

[Kenneth]

Yep, it’s gone down as badly as an out of context Jimmy Carr joke about Gypsies.

[Norbs]

I don't either, it's stupid

[Buzzo]

I just told my son that, he didnt find it funny at all

[Buzzo]

Yep. Here it is. Classic

[Slinky Skills]

Hahaha!

[ChesterDave]

Yep. Here it is. Classic

A man is walking down the street when he runs into his friend. But there's something different about him: his friend has an orange for a head.

So the man asks his friend, "Hey man, why do you have an orange for a head?"

And his friend replies, "Well I was digging through the trash and I found a magic lamp. I rubbed it and a genie popped out and promised me three wishes."

The man then says, "That's cool, but why do you have an orange for a head?"

His friend replies, "Well for my first wish I asked to be the richest man in the world, and 'poof!' I had tons upon tons of gold bullion at my feet."

The man shuffles and asks again, "Okay, but why do you have an orange for a head?"

His friend smiles and says, "Wait, wait. I'm getting there. For my second wish I wished for the most beautiful woman in the world to be my bride, and 'poof!' there she was, the very likeness of Helen of Troy."

The man, dumbfounded and quite anxious asks once again, "Okay, but why do you have an orange for a head?!?"

To which his friend replies, "Well, for my third wish, I wished for an orange for a head."