Crap Jokes

[Slinky Skills]

[Fivex]

Well it’s blatantly from his Christmas cracker so.. yeah agree

[Norbs]

A mummy has just been discover in Egypt covered in chocolate and nuts.

Archaeologists believe it’s Pharaoh Rochè.

Far too good for this thread

[Slinky Skills]

A mummy has just been discover in Egypt covered in chocolate and nuts.

Archaeologists believe it’s Pharaoh Rochè.

[baitman]

[Slinky Skills]

[baitman]

So Batman came up to me & he hit me over the head with a vase & he went T'PAU!
I said "Don't you mean KAPOW?? He said "No, I've got china in my hand."

Merry Christmas everyone!!!!!!

[Norbs]

Probably an American joke, hence 'gotten'

[RedAndWhite]

"Either you marry my daughter or I will send you to prison for 20 years'"

How does that work?

I am guessing because she was 16 and he was 18? So consent or something like that?

[Kenneth]

"Either you marry my daughter or I will send you to prison for 20 years'"

How does that work?

[baitman]

A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband is not in bed. She puts on her robe and goes downstairs to look for him. She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a hot cup of coffee in front of him. He appears to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall. She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of his coffee.

'What's the matter, dear' she whispers as she steps into the room, 'Why are you down here at this time of night
The husband looks up from his coffee, 'It's the 20th Anniversary of the day we met'.
She can't believe he has remembered and starts to tear up.

The husband continues, 'Do you remember 20 years ago when we started dating, I was 18 and you were only 16,' he says solemnly.
Once again, the wife is touched to tears. 'Yes, I do' she replies.

The husband pauses The words were not coming easily. 'Do you remember when your father caught us in the back seat of my car'
'Yes, I remember' said the wife, lowering herself into the chair beside him.

The husband continued. 'Do you remember when he shoved the shotgun in my face and said, "Either you marry my daughter or I will send you to prison for 20 years'
'I remember that, too' she replied softly.

He wiped another tear from his cheek and said "I would have gotten out today." 😂 😂

[spud_gun]

What do you call a sad UFO?




A crying saucer

[Angryred]

Just found out Grandpa is addicted to Viagra...no one is taking it harder than Grandma!

[badpiggy]

What's brown and runny?








Usain Bolt

[razortoddy]

What's brown and sticky?










A stick