Crap Jokes

[SB]

A man walks into a bar in NY and orders 3 pints of Guinness. He then sits at the bar, on his own and takes sips from each glass, until he finishes all 3 pints. He then orders another 3 pints.

The barman looks confused and asks him why he doesn’t just order 1 at a time. The man explains that he has a brother back home in Ireland, and another brother in Australia, and they all “go for drinks together” in this way every Saturday. The barman smiles at this nice tradition and leaves him to it.

Over the following weeks, the man becomes a regular at the bar, drinking 3 pints of Guinness at a time. After several weeks the barman sees him sitting, looking disheartened with 2 pints of Guinness in front of him.

The barman approaches him, and says “I’m sorry for your loss…”, pointing at the 2 glasses. The man replies “ahhh no no, both my brothers are fine, I’m just off the drink”

[Mr Pink]

A man walks into a bar in NY and orders 3 pints of Guinness. He then sits at the bar, on his own and takes sips from each glass, until he finishes all 3 pints. He then orders another 3 pints.

The barman looks confused and asks him why he doesn’t just order 1 at a time. The man explains that he has a brother back home in Ireland, and another brother in Australia, and they all “go for drinks together” in this way every Saturday. The barman smiles at this nice tradition and leaves him to it.

Over the following weeks, the man becomes a regular at the bar, drinking 3 pints of Guinness at a time. After several weeks the barman sees him sitting, looking disheartened with 2 pints of Guinness in front of him.

The barman approaches him, and says “I’m sorry for your loss…”, pointing at the 2 glasses. The man replies “ahhh no no, both my brothers are fine, I’m just off the drink”

[Mr Pink]

One evening a man was at home watching TV and eating peanuts.
He'd toss them in the air, and then catch them in his mouth In the
middle of catching one, his wife asked him a question - and as he
turned to answer her, a peanut fell in his ear.
He tried and tried to dig it out but succeeded in only pushing it in deeper.
He called his wife for assistance, and after hours of trying they
became worried and decided to go to the hospital.
As they were ready to go out the door, their daughter came home
with her date. After being informed of the problem, their
daughter's date said he could get the peanut out..
The young man told the father to sit down, then proceeded to
shove two fingers up the father's nose and told him to blow hard.
When the father blew, the peanut flew out of his ear.
The mother and daughter jumped and yelled for joy. The young
man insisted that it was nothing.
Once he was gone, the mother turned to the father and said,
'That's so wonderful! Isn't he smart? What do you think he's going to be when he grows up?'
The father replied, 'From the smell of his fingers, our son-in-law.

[baitman]

One evening a man was at home watching TV and eating peanuts.
He'd toss them in the air, and then catch them in his mouth In the
middle of catching one, his wife asked him a question - and as he
turned to answer her, a peanut fell in his ear.
He tried and tried to dig it out but succeeded in only pushing it in deeper.
He called his wife for assistance, and after hours of trying they
became worried and decided to go to the hospital.
As they were ready to go out the door, their daughter came home
with her date. After being informed of the problem, their
daughter's date said he could get the peanut out..
The young man told the father to sit down, then proceeded to
shove two fingers up the father's nose and told him to blow hard.
When the father blew, the peanut flew out of his ear.
The mother and daughter jumped and yelled for joy. The young
man insisted that it was nothing.
Once he was gone, the mother turned to the father and said,
'That's so wonderful! Isn't he smart? What do you think he's going to be when he grows up?'
The father replied, 'From the smell of his fingers, our son-in-law.

[SB]

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[SB]

Just sayin


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[SB]

Baitman look away now


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[ChesterDave]

****e.

I thought it was pretty decent. Old though

A policeman has just knocked my door & said "it looks like your wife's been in a car crash".

I said "I know, but she's great with the kids".

[baitman]

****e.

[SB]

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[Le Chef]

Whats Forest Gumps password ?


1Forest1

[BG1973]

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[SB]

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[fidget]

Definition of a reverse exorcism.

When the demon tells the priest to get out of the kid.

[baitman]

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